Because I Had You// Book #2 (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Because I Had You: Shawn

"Tell me when you're ready, I'm waiting-" I stopped on the piano beginning to write few more keys that would match the song perfectly. I stared at my music sheet just thinking how could I perfect the song even more. I have been in here for almost eight hours. I didn't care what time it was. Like I told Adam, I just needed a break a little and just let it be me and my music, and I absolutely love it. I don't have to worry about the public or the media. All those things really drain and hurt you emotionally, so I just love it when it's just me the music.
"I brought you food." Adam came through the door with a box of pizza and two sodas.
"I assumed you were gonna be dead when I opened the door because how long you've been in here, but I was wrong. Again." He sighed as I came walking out sitting on the couch next to him.
"I would be dead if someone told me I couldn't play music anymore." My eyes widen just thinking if someone actually tried to do that to me.
"Hold on though man, I have to use to restroom first." I stood up walking to and out the door. I closed it behind heading down the hall, but before I could make a complete turn I bumped right into someone so hard immediately knocking the wind out of me. I instantly grabbed my side as Kinsley stumbled and the hit the hall.
"Shit. Are you okay Kinsley?" I threw the pain out of my system walking straight for her. She had fear in her eyes and absolute discomfort. Her mind wasn't straight. She was uncomfortable. She was nervous. She has never been like this since we've finally reunited so this was definitely worrying me. I walked placing both of my hands on each side of her arms as the tenseness in her body seemed to go down just a little.
"Hey. Are you okay?" She was standing right in front of me as I lifted my eyes for a second and they locked right onto the guy who I never wanted to see again. Matthew.
"Kinsley." He called for her name, ran and stopped halfway the moment his eyes met mine.
"I have to go." She pushed herself away from me running, turning, and disappearing. Matthew and I stared at one another for a solid minute waiting for one another to say something first. I had nothing to say to say him. He disgusted me. He took advantage of Kinsley innocence and confusion during the loss of her dad in order to benefit himself.
"I didn't know you were here." He placed his hands in his pockets.
"Likewise." I replied with a straight and serious voice.
"Are you here for Kinsley?" He pointed down the hall where she ran as I turned my head to see she was no where to be found. I slowly turned my head back to his direction. I knew why he was here, and I didn't like it. I didn't want it, and he definitely wasn't gonna have it. I gave him one last look before tuning and walking down the hall exactly where Kinsley ran leaving Matthew standing all alone.
I found myself in the very back of building where I felt it was so unoccupied that souls would be lost here. I didn't call out her name. I didn't want her even more overwhelmed. I knew the moment she saw him, everything that she has done had instantly replayed in her mind. It wasn't fair. It was the pass. And the pass. Will stay in the pass. I made another right as I saw her sitting down with her back against the wall and her face in her hands. Life sucks. Life sucks when it always ends up in the opposite of your favor. What's even worse, was the sight of her acting like this beat me up inside. I feel the moment I see her hurting or upset a part of myself falls apart. I never felt this way for anyone, but Kinsley. Kinsley has been the only person I felt this way for. Before and now.
"Kinsley." I whispered her name as she lifted her head up and her eyes were red and puffy with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Shawn." She quickly wiped her face and sniffed her nose. Hearing her voice made me feel a little bit better inside. I walked sitting right next to her as she didn't flinch.
"You okay?" I asked never once taking my eyes off of hers.
"Yeah. I'm okay." She nodded. I knew she was lying. I didn't want her to be someone she wasn't around me.
"Life is just a pain in the ass you know?" She let out a small laugh.
"It's not all that bad." I replied just thinking how I just wanted to grab her yet again and just hold her tighter and tighter.
"Sometimes I have these moments where I just panic, but it's not that bad." She spoke. Her honesty and innocence in her eyes just killed me. I loved it so much.
"How's working on your music going?" She tired to change the mood. She didn't want the conversation to be about her. She didn't want to be the way she use to be, and I loved how much she's been growing up, but a part of me will always love the way she use to be, and she still has the same her inside of her. She can try to hide it, but I can see right through her, and that's how I want it to stay.
"Hey. Look at me." I finally demanded as she hesitated to do so.
"Kinsley please." I whispered as she let out a sigh and finally turned her head towards me and there were her beautiful eyes.
"It's okay." I added as she bit the bottom of her lip nodding with me.
"I'm serious. It's okay." I reached placing a strand of hair behind her ear as she slowly closed her eyes allowing me to do so. She knew what I meant when I said it was okay. She just knew. She knew because she knew me and knew what we had. What we had might still be there or not. I know what just happened absolutely shook her. That's the last thing she wanted, and I would be embarrassingly selfish if I thought of myself in this situation and not her.