Because I Had You// Book #2 (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Because I Had You: Shawn

I opened my door as Kinsley walked into my apartment I had in LA. She has never been to my place not even before. I've been having an amazing time with her tonight, and I didn't want it to end. The jazz club was definitely one of my favorite things and something I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life. It all felt real and we just fitted with one another. She was funny and joking around with me. It was everything that I've always wanted and never imagined I would get back when I came back here after two years.
"This place is beautiful." She spun in a circle looking at everything. Her eyes were just the most beautiful thing that stood out to me.
"I try to make it that way." I laughed tossing my keys to the table.
"For being famous though and having money I would expect you to have something a little bit bigger." She frowned.
"None taken." I replied as she cracked a laugh. I love a girl who I can mess around with and throw sarcasm at me 10 times stronger than what I throw back. She walked down the hall and walked right into my music room. She looked at my drums, piano, all my guitars and my mic.
"Do you play the ukulele?" She questioned.
"I do." I walked to my closet inside the room and grabbed one of my four ukuleles.
"Not a lot of people know though." I walked to my stool and sat down as she sat down on the floor in front of me.
"Why?" She asked.
"It's an instrument I like to play a lot on my free time. It's not really something I want to share. It's like something for me and only for me. Does that make sense?" She nodded her head towards me.
"Do you know how to play somewhere over the rainbow? That's a song I hear a lot on them." I laughed because she looked so cute asking me music questions. I then smiled and softly strummed with my pointer finger a g chord.
"Of course." I began to strum a down down up up down up pattern switching to a C, G, Am, F chords.
"Somewhere over the rainbow." I began to sing.
"Blue birds fly
They fly over the rainbow
Oh why oh why can't I?" The song had a soft melody. She reached her hand to stop me from playing, lifted herself up and kissed me.
"Name one thing that doesn't amaze me about you." She slowly whispered pulling away. I dropped my ukulele grabbing her by her hips and lifting her to where she crossed her legs around me. She takes me out of this world. She makes me feel a way other people can't make me feel. She makes me feel important and loved. Like I actually matter and mean something to someone that isn't just my music. I'm crazy about her. I truly am.
She gave me a small peck on my forehead and began to kiss me down my neck. She wasn't being aggressive or attempting to be "sexy" she was being gentle and calm. She was treating this to be special. That's what I loved and what I wanted.
I finally leaned down and placed her on my bed.
"What do I have to do to get these clothes off." I whispered playfully tugging at her shirt. She began to laugh as it killed me and made me want her more.
"Ahhh, always wanting something huh?" She smiled as I leaned down kissing her again.
"I'm pretty use to getting what I want." I spoke pulling back as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Not with me." She teased.
"You're really gonna make me work for it?" I questioned.
"Maybe." She rolled her eyes. I placed my left hand above her hip beginning to tickle her.
"Stop Shawn!" She bursted into laughter. I couldn't help myself. I loved seeing her not thinking about the worse of everything. It made me feel like I could protect her in ways she didn't think I can.
"I'm actually enjoying this." I chuckled. I moved my hand away as I gave her a minute to catch her breath. I placed my right hand on the side of her cheek beginning to gently move my thumb.
"I love Kinsley." I whispered as she just stared at me. I don't say the word I love you. It's a big word and something I feel strong about. When I say I love you, I mean it from every ounce of my heart, and with Kinsley. I mean it with every bone in my bone. I love her. I love her so much.
"I love you Shawn." She whispered back. I leaned placing my lips to hers. I began to kiss down her neck, on her chest, down to her stomach. Slower, slower, and slower.
I moved my hand to lift her shirt, but she immediately stopped me.
"Are you okay?" I asked concerned. I didn't want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. That was the last thing I wanted to do to her.
"I'm fine. It's just." She stopped and bit the bottom of her lip. She sat up as I did too. I just ruined it for her.
"I don't want you to be disappointed." She wrapped her arms around her stomach. My heart instantly dropped. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life can't even see how amazing she is.
"Why would I be disappointed Kinsley?" She was wrong. She was the most perfect girl in my life. Her body, her looks, her personality. Everything.
"I don't know, I just-" she couldn't even finish her own sentences. I wasn't gonna allow her to feel this way. She doesn't know how much she means to me. I would be selfish if I just let her think this way. I laid down resting my head on my pillow reaching and pulling her next to me. She laid her head on my chest as I just wrapped her in my arms.
"I have seen you. I have touched you. I have kissed you. I have loved you Kinsley." I explained.
"Nothing has changed." She lifted her head up meeting my eyes.
"You're so beautiful." I smiled. I couldn't stop myself. She really was. How was I so damn lucky? I reached both my arms for her pulling her on top of me.
"I would never hurt you. I promise."
"It's not you. It's me." She replied.
"Let me love you, please." I begged as she bit her lip again trying to fight off her insecurities.
"Hey." I spoke placing my finger on her lip.
"Stop doing that." I demanded knowing every time she bit her lip it made me want her so bad.
Without waiting for her to respond I just placed my hands on her face pulling her into me. I rolled her over to where I was on top of her again. I pulled back putting my hands behind me reaching and taking my shirt off over my head. I felt her hands run up my stomach and I was instantly hit with goosebumps. I looked back down at her and leaned back in.
"Let me love you." I whispered once again. She swallowed hard. She let out a small breath and finally nodded. She gave me the one answer I needed to allow me to show her that I loved her. That I loved her with everything I had.