Because I Had You// Book #2 (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Because I Had You: Kinsley

Everything about today was beautiful. Jordan and Adam together made them perfect and create a perfect love story for the both of them. I wouldn't be surprised if people were jealous of their love. The whole time I thought what it would be like to marry Shawn. I thought what it would be like to say I do to him and all of it sent chills down my spine. All because I wanted that to happen. I wanted to marry him. I never thought I would be the one to say that, but it feels so freakin amazing to think and say it.
Shawn drove us back to my place and I couldn't stop talking to him about the things I loved about the wedding and my therapist was Adam's mom. Everything is just a small world. We walked together to my place, and I didn't want him to leave. I feel like I never have enough time with him. I feel like my time with him needs to be more because you never know when someone is gone within a blink of an eye.
"Thank you for coming with me tonight." Shawn was just looking at me with his beautiful brown eyes.
"Thank you for allowing me to come." I whispered back. I leaned placing my lips to his and I just didn't want to stop, but I knew he would be driving back late and I couldn't have him on the road this late at night. I pulled away as I unlocked my door.
"Can I get a glass of water real quick?" Shawn questioned.
"You're such a dork." I laughed as he walked through the door. He knew were everything was. I walked into my room and walked to my night stand in the corner of my room to quickly take the bobby pins and clips out of my hair. One by one I took everything okay as my hair was falling out of placing. It felt good and I didn't feel anything stabbing or poking me. As I took the last clip out, I felt Shawn walk right behind as he placed both his hand on my shoulders and slid them down my arms. A small shiver went through me. I loved when he touched me like that. He moved my hair to the other side of my shoulder as he started to kiss my neck. With soft and warm kisses he made each kiss take it's time. Trying to control my breathing, I turned to face him and I knew I needed and wanted him with me right now and for the rest of my life. I quickly locked my lips to his as his hands slid up my back pushing me closer to him. He slowly unzipped my dress and god damn do I trust him. I trust him with everything I have and all my heart can hold. I moved my hands to my side letting my dress fall. He moved me back and gently laid me down on my bed. He finally parted his lips from mine as he stood up taking off his suit jacket and unbuttoning his white long sleeve. His body was every girls dream. Sometimes I still can't believe out of all the perfect girls in the world who aren't insecure about themselves, he still chooses me. That's how I know I'm meant to treat, protect, and love him for the rest of my life. I moved my hands across his chest and slowly across his abs. His body just does something to me. He saw me bite the bottom of my lip as he reached his hand to my chin, tossing his stuff to the floor, and finally leaned back down to kiss me even more.
"I told you when you do that it makes me go crazy." He moaned.
"I love you Shawn." I said in between kisses.
"I love you." He responded not wanting to stop anything.
"Shawn." I whispered as he stopped.
"Is everything okay?" He asked with deep concern.
"After today." I moved my right hand to the side of his cheek and gently started rubbing my thumb against his skin.
"What did you think?" I wanted to know what he thought. With the wedding and everything. I know what I thought, and thought about us and how that could be us one day.
"I thought about you." He finally responded.
"I thought about you and how beautiful you would look in an all white dress that looked similar to Jordan's." He smiled.
"Could you see yourself marrying me?" I asked. I just through it out there. After everything I've done, I just wanted to know what he thought. Would he ever be able to forget everything, and just love me for who I am now.
His eyes wouldn't leave mine, and his silence was killing me.
"Yeah, I really do." He nodded while pushing hair behind my ear.
"Okay." I whispered with a smile knowing we were on the same page. He leaned down giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.
"You missed." I softly joked.
"Of course I did." He smiled again and locked his lips to mine.
"I want to touch you everywhere." He growled.
"Then do it." I whispered.
"You really want me too?" He smirked. I nodded my head really fast as he grinned. He slid his hand down the side of my breasts, down my hips, and gripping thigh. I loved his strength. His strength just took me out of this world. He gripped me close to him as I couldn't help, but to let out a little moan. I placed my hands on his back and dug my nails into him. I didn't want him to stop anything, I didn't want him to do anything but just focus on me and this moment. I love him, and I'll do anything I can to make sure he knew that. I don't know how Shawn makes me feel this way, but it just reminds me how god damn lucky I am to have him right here and right now.

"It's that I hate to hurt you
But I got to be honest
I can't give you what you need
You deserve more than I can promise
And I'm just tryna be honest." Shawn softly and slowly sang as he was laying on stomach on my bed with his face towards me. I was on my stomach too running my fingers through his hair because I knew he loved when I rubbed his head.
"How do you still sound amazing even when you're tired?" I whispered letting out a little laugh.
"It's a gift." He whispered back barely keeping his eyes open.
"Shawn. Before you close you eyes. I want to tell you something." I stopped rubbing his head as he went from almost falling asleep to wide awake.
"You okay?" He placed his hand on my back. I started to laugh as a confused look appeared on his face.
"Let's go." I spoke as he arced his brow towards me.
"Let's just grab everything and go." He lifted his head up.
"Baby. Are you okay?" Shawn was confused. He didn't know what I was saying, but he needs to let me speak. I pushed myself up as I crawled on top of him and he placed his hands around my hips.
"I have a great life. I love the business world, I've done everything I can that I know made my dad proud. I have money. Let me just go with you. When you go on tour again, which I know you are. Let me go with you. Philip can watch my label for a year, I want to live your life with you. Please." I finally let out everything I've been hiding inside. I was afraid to admit everything to him only because I wasn't sure, but now I am. Now that I know where I'm at especially with him, I know what I want.
"You can't just leave your life. I can't do that to you-"
"You're not doing anything. This is a decision I want to make." I interrupted him. He paused just staring at me.
"You wanna go?" He questioned.
"Yeah, I do." I smiled never feeling so sure about anything in my life.
"Okay." He sighed.
"Let's go." He finally let out a smile as he placed his arms on my back pushing me to him and wrapping his around me as tight as he could. I could feel he knew he loved the idea. He was just protecting me and considering my life, but I want it to be with him. Only him.
"You're gonna love it. I promise." He smiled as within minutes he was already sound asleep.