Because I Had You// Book #2 (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Because I Had You: Shawn

The fact that Kinsley asked me to go to dinner, at her place. A completely new one. Threw me completely by surprise, but the feeling I had inside of me was something I haven't felt in awhile. I thought coming in here things would be awkward and overwhelming, but the vibe we have between us is almost like it never left. It just beats me up that we had to fall apart. Not it's wether or not we can mend it back together. When I got home I immediately went for my closet. I needed to know what to wear and everything. I was nervous, I felt like I've never been on a date before.
"Why are you getting worked up man?" Adam asked sitting in the edge of my bed.
"You won't believe me-"
"Try me." He quickly interrupted me.
"Kinsley asked me on a date." I started going through some long sleeve button up shirts I had.
"Seriously?" Adam sounded shocked.
"Yes." I replied.
"And you're gonna go?" He questioned. He sounded defensive to where I had to stop and talk to him face to face.
"Yes I am."
"You really think people can change Shawn?"
"What are you trying to say?" He could hear the irritation in my voice.
"I just feel like she really messed up, and you think someone like her deserves a second chance?"
"Someone like her? You're talking like she's some kind of species." I began to defend her. I don't know why Adam would talk like this to me. He never has.
"I'm just trying to protect-"
"If I needed it, I would ask for it, but I don't need it." He stood up from my bed and now he was tense. He was irritated with me. Why? I don't know why he would be. This is my decision. Best friends yes, state the truth to one another, but they don't start being jerks. It doesn't work that way for me.
"I like her Adam. I always have. Sometimes I think about it, and I regret ever leaving her." I finally said the one thing I didn't think I would say out loud, but it was the truth.
"Why?" Adam looked mad, but at the same time he looked concerned. Concerned as in he didn't know I felt that way.
"I just feel like I knew she was struggling so much mentally, that I just left her, and she had to do it on her own. I feel like she didn't mean what she did. Like I beat myself for it everyday." I ran my fingers through my hair. I do strongly feel that way. I feel like I let her down, and it's my fault for what I did. My stomach ties in knots thinking she must have been crying in room, at work, or anywhere on her own because without her dad she was completely alone. I just feel like an enemy to her case.
"You're just a good guy Shawn." Those were the only words that came out of his mouth before he turned and walked out my room. He was upset at me, he didn't want me to associate myself with her anymore, but I can't. My heart just keeps going to her, and I can't tell my heart when it can and can't feel something.
I decided to wear a dark army green button up and roll my sleeves up. I wore black jeans and brown shoes trying to keep it fancy but casual. When I was driving I had to keep the radio off because I just needed to focus on my mind and everything that as channeling inside of it. When I parked, I noticed she lived in one of the most expensive sand nicest condos in LA. When walking up, no one was outside. The neighborhood seemed quiet and calm. It has to be perfect for her. I walked up the stairs and turned left as her door stood straight in my face. I smelled really nice inside, so I knew she was making something delicious. I didn't even care about the food. I didn't even care about anything else, all I cared was seeing her and finally just talking to her and seeing where it was gonna go. I took a deep breath getting myself to knock on the door. The anticipation was killing me, but I knew it was gonna be worth it. Anything for her was worth it. I waited patiently as I heard the door unlock and immediately my heart was pounding so loud I could've sworn she could hear it. She opened it and she just took my breath away. She had a short pink lace dress on with black ankle high boots. Her body was so stunning, but just herself was even more stunning. I can't believe this girl is the one my heart chooses over and over again. I wouldn't want it any other way.
"Hi." She gave me a big and soft smile. You would be a fool if you couldn't recognize that smile.
"Hi." I replied as she moved from the door frame allowing me to come in. Her place was absolutely amazing. She had black, white, and grey furniture. She had all wooden floors. He kitchen was massive with marble counter tops, white cabinet, electric stove, just beautiful. She had a big crystal chandelier in her living room with all white couches and big black feathery carpet. It was perfect for her. She deserved to have a place of her own where it can indicate a new start for her.
"I'm almost done with dinner. If you want you can sit at the table, or in the couch." She didn't sound nervous or anything. She sounded calm and relaxed. All in a way she wouldn't sound before. She walked into the kitchen grabbing an oven mit and placing it on her hand. Without even thinking about it I walked and took the glove from her.
"Let me help." I offered as she didn't fight back. She just backed away not taking her eyes off of mine. It was killing me how she was looking at me. Absolutely killing me.
"Thank you." She turned walking to the stove and I just had a feeling something was gonna be different tonight. I don't know how different, but a good different. That's just the best way I can explain it.