Deep Deep Trouble (completed)

Depression

i got up and walked home. of course, i didn't wanna go home, but where would i go? sam's? ha no way. natalie's? no, she hates me right now. i climbed through my window and jumped in my bed. "you have to eat." my mom said. "and you have to knock." i said back. "whatever." she said and left. i felt so broken. i literally have no one. i know people would say that things get better, but i don't think this will. this pain will never heal.
*morning*
i barely got any sleep last night. i was busy crying my eyes out. i got up and ready for school. i skipped breakfast like always. i didn't get on the bus because i knew sam was gonna be on it and i didn't wanna see him right now. i walked to school. i knew i was gonna be late but i didn't care. i wore a really bad outfit. it matches with my really bad mood.
*15 mins later*
i finally arrived at hell. my legs were killing me. i walked in and of course no one was in the halls. i was at my locker putting books in and out when a teacher approached me. "y/n?" she asked. "yes, mrs. lowery?" "are you okay?" she asked putting her hand on my shoulder. she was a really sweet old lady. "why wouldn't i be?" i said leaving. i didn't wanna deal with some teacher asking me if i'm okay when i'm totally fine. i'm fine. i'm okay on my own. maybe it's best for me, so i don't hurt anyone and no one hurts me. i walked into class and of course all eyes were on me. i looked in sam's direction and saw him sitting with sabrina. i felt my heartbreak all over again when she kissed his cheek and smirked at me. i felt my eyes burn with tears, but quickly wiped them away and sat down by myself. i had a feeling that something was going on when i saw her at his house. why am i like this? it's my fault. i broke my own heart. i let a boy in when i shouldn't have. class continued, but i fell asleep. like i said, i didn't get any sleep. "miss y/l/n?" i woke up as quickly as she said my name. "yes?" i asked yawning. "please, pay attention." i nodded and put my hand on the side of my face. i looked over at sabrina and sam's table and saw her all over him. he looked annoyed. she smiled and me and waved. i rolled my eyes and looked forward. i sneezed and sneezed again. and yes, everyone looked at me. "excuse me? but i think y/n is disturbing the class." sabrina said. "i'll fucking step out then." i said calmly but rudely. i walked out of class without permission. i walked around the school and tried to calm myself down. i got a drink of water and went back into class to see them kissing. y'all this is class gosh darn it. and the teacher has no problem with it huh? fucking stupid. i sat in my seat waiting for class to end. as soon as the bell rang i ran out. i walked to my locker. "guess your little boyfriend didn't want you anymore huh?" sabrina said. "literally fuck off." i said not even looking at her. "ha, so sad and pathetic." "fuck off." i said again. "you're a joke and i'm so glad sam opened his eyes and saw how disgusting and pathetic you are." "watch yourself." i said facing her with my fist. "what are you going to do?" i pushed her hard on the floor and started hitting her. "hey hey hey!!" sam yelled holding me back. "let me go!! let me at her!" i yelled trying to break his grip. "she's crazy!" she yelled. he finally let go of me. i looked him in the eyes and said, "why? why are you doing this? i thought you hated this girl." i couldn't my tears back. they were falling like a waterfall. "i'm doing this because i want to." "want to what?" i asked. "i'm in love with her." he said walking away. everyone was staring at me like i was insane even natalie. i ran out of the school. why? why does this have to happen to me? i was wrong, i'm not fine, i'm not okay. i sat on a bench and thought for a moment. all of this wouldn't have happened, if i didn't let the boy into my life. i have nothing, nothing at all. i wanna be numb, i wanna be completely numb. i'm tired of all of this.

to be continued...
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