alexander- a.t

53. monday, march 2015

This photo...I want it tattooed on my body.
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Luna laid on her bed, fantasising about Alex. He spent a lot of time at the studio but she didn't mind. She knew that whenever he had a free moment, he wanted to be with her.

She had hours before her afternoon class and she didn't want to move. She had so much hope for him that it scared her, last time she felt like this he left.

She couldn't believe he had written songs about her, she didn't even listen to their music. Then an idea came to her head. She picked up her phone and plugged it in and searched on Spotify for Arctic Monkeys.

Luna has listened to their first album and songs like Mardy Bum and you probably couldn't see she knew she had inspired as Alex had written them while she was still around. She looked through the b sides from that era and noticed a familiar one. 'Baby I'm Yours'. Blushing, she pressed play.

She knew it wasn't their song but it was the song she had played while stealing Alex's first kiss so it meant something to her. The song played while she looked through their early music.

Brianstorm she knew was about Brian but she played it anyway, wanting to listen to the lyrics without having a breakdown. She ended up enjoying it, laughing at Alex's references. Who knew their game of freestyling songs would end up becoming a major hit?

She saw 'The Bakery' and smiled slightly. That one was definitely about her but she had heard it before, when Alex had played it too her on that god awful day six months ago.

She decided to just play all of their songs from start to finish from a playlist she found and focus carefully on the lyrics. She found herself laughing at some, an overwhelming sensation to cry at some. Especially when Alex sang about how much his heart was broken.

Luna was almost finished with humbug when cornerstone started playing. It was more acoustic and the lyrics were concise with what they were saying unlike the other songs that were jam packed with metaphors. She liked it at first.

She sat up, listening to Alex's unique voice. She had noticed his voice had changed from favourite worst nightmare, it was more silky and less northern. He was showing his voice a lot more as if he had gained confidence between the two.

"I saw your sister in the cornerstone
on the phone to the middle man
when I saw her she was on her own
I thought she might understand
She was close
Well you couldn't get much closer
She said I'm really not supposed to
But yes,
You can call me anything you want."

Then it hit Luna what the song was about. She jumped over to her phone and pressed the back button to start it again. Laying there, listening to Alex's take on a key moment in her life. He seemed to understand it more than she did.

It wasn't just about Brian and her sister, it was about their relationship as a whole. That whenever they fought, he would go out and look for someone to replace her. But some of the things he was saying he couldn't imagine being from Brian's perspective. Like when he talked about keeping his shortcuts to himself and thinking he had imagined her. He didn't have the heart. That must of been about Alex's role in the situation.

When the song ended she paused it and dwelled on what she had just heard. She worried when he told her he wrote a song about it that it would simply tell the story but Alex had created layers, he had put himself in the story and for the first time in a long time, Luna felt guilt for that night and how it had affected Alex.

She pressed play once she had shed a few tears and continued to listen to the other albums. It took a few deep breaths before she could focus on the lyrics again.