alexander- a.t

35. thursday, january 2012

"Happy New Year!" Everyone in the bar cheered. Alex had the widest grin on his face as he held his shot up in the air.

This was Alex's favourite time of year. First Christmas then New Years then his birthday, it was four weeks of boozing that he looked forward to year round.

"Sweet Caroline!" The bar sang. Alex grabbed Miles by the face and brought him as close as he possibly could. "Dun Dun Dun!" They yelled at each other. There was only utter elation running through his veins and a bit of coke as he swung one arm around Miles and another around Matt's.

Shot after shot was poured into Alex's mouth. He spent more time wincing than he did breathing. Just before midnight he was bouncing off the walls, every substance rattled around his body.

There was one thing that had been playing on his mind the whole time he had been back in Sheffield; Luna. He was beyond terrified he would run into her and every blonde woman he saw he dodged just in case. He couldn't face it at that moment, he was having too much fun to face any consequences.

Alex clung to his mates as they screamed along to auld lang syne but suddenly felt extremely ill. He pushed everyone away and squeezed his eyes together to try and focus his vision.

"Y'alright mate?" Miles asked. He put a hand on his shoulder to try and balance himself but he knew he was going to vomit.

It was a usual occurrence when going out with Miles that Alex would consume too much, vomit and then continue. Miles let Alex slip out of the group and out into the cold night. It had been snowing, the floor was icy and kept moving in his eyesight. It felt as if every step he took, the floor was moving further and further away from him.

He turned the corner from the bar and threw up as best he could. Wiping his mouth, he leant against the wall and took some deep breaths. Even though he had just thrown up, he was so happy in that moment. There was background noise of the many people in the building behind him singing loudly.

Deciding he needed another drink, he turned back around the corner but stopped dead when he saw who was across the road. She hadn't seen him, he was too far away.

There were a few women across the street in small sparkly dresses that were covered by huge coats. They were all stood outside the facing bar with cigarettes in their hands. Alex couldn't help himself, he just watched her.

His vision was whirring but he managed to focus on her. It had only been a few months since he had left her behind but seeing her in front of him again made him feel nothing but guilt. He couldn't quite believe it was her, in fact, he doubted it was her so much he got out his phone and dialled her number.

The woman across the road started to fumble about in her bag before pulling out a phone. Alex's heart dropped, it was her. Then her voice appeared in his ear, making him jump.

"Hello?" She answered. He just stared across the road at her and watched her face become confused. "Hello?" Alex looked away from the road, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over him.

"Al! Come on your missing it!" Miles yelled so loudly that the woman turned her head to face the bar. Alex turned around so she didn't see him and hung up the phone.

"Alright." He mumbled, pulling at his face and subconsciously wiping one stray tear that he didn't even realise was there.

Luna put her phone back in her purse none the wiser of what just happened. All her friends asked her what was going on but she couldn't tell them. She could've sworn she heard someone say 'Al' but she'd had so many shots she didn't know what she was hearing anymore.

Alex allowed himself to be dragged back into the bar and go for round two. Last time he was drinking to have fun but now he was drinking to forget the pain he had caused himself and Luna by mugging her off.

Within an hour he was already as pissed as he was before and any guilt about Luna was seeded deeply in the back of his mind. He collapsed onto a sofa at the back of the bar and Miles collapsed onto his lap and they sprawled out laughing wildly.

"Ah fuck." Alex sighed.