alexander- a.t

39. wednesday, february 2013

Alex didn't really know how he got to his table at the Brit's, he just kind of ended up there. Everyone around him was with a couple, he didn't have anyone. Him and Arielle weren't speaking, he didn't want to think about it.

He watched people walk on stage, mumble words he didn't quite grasp and walk off again. Everyone kept congratulating him on his performance; when did that happen? He licked his lips as another bottle of champagne was put on their table.

Interviews were a thing of the past now but he knew if they won they would have to say something and do interviews. He was in constant trouble because of how he acted in them, always told to be more charismatic. Some people would call him a 'charmer' whenever he spoke but he rarely knew what he was saying half the time.

He didn't expect to win, he didn't care for awards and he would feel the same if he won if he didn't win but his manager had forced him to write a speech to avoid disappointing people. They were up for the big awards, MasterCard album of the year and British group. Alex had already put £15 on One Direction to win for a laugh.

Matt hit him on the shoulder, snapping him out of his daze. Their song was playing, they won. He put on his 'rockstar' face, a cocky smile, and stood up slowly as everyone else hugged and kissed their loved ones. Alex started to walk alone and the boys followed.

He reached the microphone and took a deep breath, he was about to give the cockiest speech of all and he couldn't wait.

"That rock 'n'roll, eh?" He looked around the room at all the faces staring back at him and suddenly felt extremely alone.

"it just won't go away." He continued, believing he was making valid social commentary.

"It might hibernate from time to time, and sink back into the swamp. I think the cyclical nature of the universe in which it exists demands it adheres to some of its rules."

"But it's always waiting there, just around the corner. Ready to make its way back through the sludge" he paused and looked around the room. They were the sludge, the endless amount of crap music that was being made by these people.

"and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever. Yeah, that rock'n'roll, it seems like it's faded away sometimes, but it will never die. And there's nothing you can do about it." He waited a brief second, realising people didn't know how to react.

"Invoice me for the microphone if you need to." He held out his hand and dropped the microphone, a smirk dragging across his face as he turned back to the boys. They were laughing but also watching him with such fascination as if they had never seen someone like him before.

As soon as he got off stage, he excused himself to the bathroom and pulled out the thing he craved most; the white powder he had come to adore.

"Ah." He closed his eyes, knocking his head back to enjoy the rush through him.

Before he knew it, he was calling someone.

"Hello?" The voice was familiar but his mind was twirling. He stared at himself in the mirror and blinked furiously to try and figure out who was on the phone. "Alex?" The voice asked.

"I just won a fucking Brit." He laughed down the phone. There was a silence on the line as he laughed at his reflection in the mirror. It seemed to be laughing back which made him laugh even more.

"Yeah, I'm watching. Your speech was a bit wanky" Alex's laughing faded. He thought he had done a tremendous job.

"Well good thing you didn't just win a Brit award." He spat viciously. Who was he even talking to? He didn't care, they were bringing him back down to earth and he didn't want to go. He was happy on his cloud of drugs, sex and everyone kissing his ass.

"Have some water, Alexander." The voice snapped before hanging up.

"Fucking bitch." He muttered. Still unaware of who he had spoken to, he shoved his phone in his pocket and made his way back to the people who didn't question him.

Luna watched her television, it was a tradition for her and her boyfriend to watch the brits with pizza and beer and make fun of all the self absorbed pricks on the tv. Usually it was fun, this year not so much but she couldn't tell Adam that.

"Who was it babe?" He asked as she sat on the sofa next to him.

"No one. Wrong number." She answered, taking another slice of pizza. Her heart hurt to see him perform, she was probably the only girl in the country praying they didn't win. Of course they did win, they're massive.

Adam had spurted insults at Alex unknowingly as he said his speech. Luna stayed quiet as he spoke, quietly listening to Adam call him a 'drunk asshole' and 'cokehead'. Over the months, Luna had managed to brain wash him to not like them. She left little comments about their attitude towards certain things and slowly Adam had forgotten why he had liked them in the first place.

"I've never wanted One Direction to win more in my life." Adam expressed as the nominees for best group came on. Luna let out a small chuckle.

"I've put a tenner on them." Luna told him. Adam laughed and patted her thigh.

"That's my girl." He grinned.

"And the winners are...Arctic Monkeys!" The announcer yelled.

"Ah, fuck." Adam sighed. Luna took a deep breath as the familiar faces climbed the stage once again.

"Well there's our fifteen quid we put on one direction to win down the drain init?" Alex smirked to Matt. Luna rolled her eyes.

"He's a bigger idiot than you are." Adam teased but Luna didn't find it very funny.

"Don't compare me to him." She hissed. Adam stared at her for a brief moment, wondering whether she was actually mad but brushed it off when she continued to watch and eat pizza.

"It's a shame they're such pricks, they make such good music." Adam sighed as they walked off stage.

"Some people just can't be helped."

Alex was having the time of his life. He had won the big awards which meant he was the centre of attention at all the parties. He was dancing, drinking, smoking and snorting everything in sight.

He stumbled into the bathroom, a red haired girl followed him in and started to kiss his neck. But, even in his state he knew that Arielle was out there somewhere heartbroken and cheating was not the way to go about this.

"Luna, stop." He mumbled absentmindedly. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his cheek and he was facing the other way. This girl had slapped him. He growled slightly with anger as the girl walked out of the bathroom.

He pulled out his phone and called the last number he had spoken to, thinking it would be Matt.

"Luna, your phone's ringing." Adam yelled as Luna was in the bathroom. There was a few thuds before she sprinted out of the room to block him from answering it.

"Thanks." She mumbled as she answered the call and practically running to the bedroom. "Alex, stop calling me." She hissed.

"What?" He burst, hearing her voice. "Why have you got Matt's phone?" He slurred. She realised he was fucked up out of his mind and rolled her eyes before hanging up.

"What was that all about?" Adam appeared at the door. "Who's Alex?" He asked. Luna stared at him.

"An old friend." She answered, it technically was true. "He's gone a bit...wayward and won't stop calling me." Adam stared at her but decided she was telling the truth.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She nodded as she blocked his new number.

"Fine. I can't help him. He needs to help himself." She sighed, following him out of the room and back into the living room.

———————————————
I know he did this at the brits 2014 but for the purposes of timing for this book I moved it back a year. I mean tbh none of the timings in this book are accurate at this point