Chapter fifteen

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"Do I HAVE to go?" Hazel nodded.

"It's gonna be so good for you."

"But the point was so that I could be here with you and Issac not away at some place with crap ass food." He sighed. Calums doctor had decided that the best recovery option would be a sleep away rehabilitation facility. Hazel was ready to help Calum however he needed and as hard as it would be she agreed that this was the best plan. Calum however did not agree that this was the best plan and wanted to stay home with hazel and Issac while recovering.

"I know but it's just one month to start with and then you get to possibly come home." She smiled and pulled out a bag to help Calum pack all his things. Issac was napping so they had some quiet time to talk.

Cal whined, "I really don't wanna go."

"I know you don't."

"I need Issac...and you..." hazel packed a few things

"We'll come by every day to visit, it'll be okay."

Cal sighed. He opened hazels closet and took out one of her big grey sweaters and packed it. It smelled like her so he would be able to hold it when he felt sad or missed her.

A few minutes later issac came into the room.

"Where ya goin...?" They both looked at him.

"Well....I'm gonna go to a place to get better...."

Issac flipped. "YOURE LEAVING ME!?"

"O-only for a month bud...and you can visit..."

For the next hour Issac screamed and begged Calum not to go and Calum quietly begged hazel not to go but she was persistent and he needed to get better. He needed to go. But god leaving his screaming little boy was gonna be absolute hell...

While Issac was melting down cal grabbed his stuff and walked outside and got in his car. As he looked over to the window he saw Issac with tears in his eyes and his little hand on the window saying 'don't go daddy please!' It broke his heart. How was issac supposed to know that Calum would be back after all the times he's left before....this wasn't fair on him.

Calum drove off eventually after realizing he needed to stop looking at his baby. But he didn't make it very far and pulled into a grocery store parking lot and broke down. What in the fuck had he done to himself. This wasn't fair on issac. This wasn't fair on hazel. All any of this had done was make everyone miserable. The things he had done felt good for an hour and only kept feeling good if you kept it up. Maybe one more time wouldn't be so bad....just one more time and then he would go to rehab and never take another shot of heroin ever again....but one last time couldn't hurt could it??

He drove to the place he used to buy it and got out of the car. This place was so fucking sketchy....

Meanwhile hazel was offering a billion different things to issac to eat none of which he wanted. He wanted Calum. He wanted his daddy to pick him up and put him on his shoulders and run around so he felt like Superman. He wanted Calum to push him on his swing set and jump on his trampoline with him, yk like all the other kids his age.

Cal sat in his car with his heroin shot and rolled up his sleeve. He uncapped the syringe and then his phone buzzed. Hazel had sent him a picture of her and Issac making goofy faces saying 'we love you!!!'

This was for them. For his issac. And for his hazel.

They ended up calling him while he sat in his car for a good twenty minutes and then he pulled himself together and drove off to the address hazel had told him.

It was a damn hard night. He found out that daily group therapy was required. And god he just wanted hazel. He just wanted to feel her touch right now. It had been weeks since cal had slept alone without either hazel or Issac in the bed next to him and so laying there all alone staring at the ceiling and counting down from sixty in his head and then starting back at sixty once he reached one was a very lonely and grueling task.

Hazel also went to bed that night feeling empty and lonely. She knew that this was best for Calum. She knew the place was good, she had experience with it before, and she knew that Calum wanted this. As much as he fought to stay and not go he still wanted to be there. She knew he was thinking of them.

Issac had hope that they would go see his dad in the morning as hazel had told him that they were gonna go hang out with him. He didn't really know what was happening but hazel had told him it was good for Calum and all he wanted was to be happy with his dad and it was gonna end up being possible as long as Calum stuck with it and tried his hardest.

The picture on his phone of hazel and Issac, which was now his lockscreen, was one of the only things that made Calum feel at peace enough to let himself doze off into sleep. This was gonna be hard, it already was, it had been three weeks without any drugs and god was it painful. It was hell but it was for them. It was for his very first crush, little hazel Mayer with long braids and glasses in first grade. It was for the girl who sat with him in fourth grade when no one else would talk to him. It was for his homecoming queen. It was for his first time. It was for hazel.

And hazel was so fucking worth all the pain

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