The Love of my Life

chapter 45

Ashley's POV:

I read the letter:

Ash,

I know I can't say this to you because we aren't together.. I'm a complete mess right now. My grandpa is gone and he was honestly one of my best friends. Sure, I have Tazer and guys like that, but I can't tell them the things that I told him.

I could never cry in front of them like I've cried in front of him. He always gave me the best life advice and he got me through some of the hardest days. He will forever be my role model.

I think you are a gift to me from my grandpa, you are my angel. I've said some pretty nasty things to and about you and you don't walk away, I love that about you. I'm sorry for everything. My grandpa gave me you..

You are someone that I can tell anything to. You are someone that I'm not afraid to be real with and cry in front of. You know I'm emotional and you get me through the hard days. You are only seventeen, but you are very wise and think logically.

Throughout my life, especially my time in the NHL, I've wanted to be liked. I party too much, I drink too much, I hook up with random girls too much... I hate that about myself. I want to change. I want one girl and that girl is you.

I know I'm a lot older and it's scary because I do have a shitty reputation, but I would never do anything to hurt you. It looks bad, you being with me, but it feels so right. With every girl I've ever met, it was just about hooking up and going to parties. With you, I want to go on dates and spend hours hearing about your day. I want to build something real.

Most guys just want you because you are the first female in the NHL and don't get me wrong, that's amazing, but to me, you are so much more than that. You are laying in my bed right next to me sleeping in my childhood bed in my parent's house and you look so beautiful.

I don't know how you are so beautiful, but you are. I'm going to give you the ring that my grandma gave me today. It was her wedding ring from my grandpa. It doesn't look like a wedding ring, it has a ruby instead of a diamond.

My grandpa always says, "Every woman gets diamonds, my girl is special and deserves something different..."

My grandma says to give it to the love of my life, the girl I want to spend forever with. A year ago, I would have laughed and probably kept it forever and never given it away, or I would have given it to the first girl I saw.

I know we aren't close and you could do so much better than me, but I am falling in love with you Ashley, and I'm falling hard and fast. I want you to be my wife someday.

I'm not the marrying type, I'm really not, but you make me want to be. I want to call you my wife someday. I want to kiss you goodnight every single night and good morning every day. I want to grow old with you. I want to have kids with you. I want you to be standing beside me when our jerseys are retired and we are put into the Hockey Hall of Fame. I want you by my side no matter what. I want forever with you.

Ash, I love you and I can't wait for the day that I can finally say all this to you. I love you my sweet, beautiful angel. Thank you for coming to Buffalo with me for the funeral. It means the world to me and I couldn't do it without you. You are amazing and I never want to lose you.

I'd give up everything, including hockey to be with you..I love you forever and always.

Love, Patrick

I was bawling. I couldn't stop crying. I put the letter back and I looked at the ring around my finger. I looked at our daughter and I looked at my engagement ring from Auston. What the hell am I supposed to do?

This was from a long time ago. Patrick is with Olivia and he tells me all the time how much he loves her. I need to move on with Auston.

I fell asleep and woke up a few times with Lauren. In the morning, we got up and ate breakfast, and got ready for a big day with the Stanley Cup.

I was wearing leggings and a Kane jersey. Lauren was in her baby Kane jersey and Patrick was in his jersey.

We all got in the car and Patrick drove to his parent's house where the cup was. Patrick grabbed it quick and said, "Liv, there is something I need to do alone.."

"You mean with your ex-girlfriend and your daughter?"

"Yeah.." Patrick said kissing her

Patrick drove to the cemetery and I carried the car seat with the baby and he carried the cup. We went to his grandpa's gravesite and he said, "Hey grandpa!"

Patrick put the cup down and I put the car seat down and took Lauren out and handed her to her daddy.

Patrick said, "Well, I'm back after almost a year. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I spent Christmas in Minnesota with Ashley because she was pregnant. June 2nd was the best day of my life and it's not because I won the cup. It's the day that my daughter was born."

"This is your great-granddaughter, Lauren Ella Kane.." Patrick said choking up

I moved closer and he put his arm around me.

"Don't worry, Ash is her mom and she's still keeping grandma's ring safe.." Patrick said I started to cry thinking about the letter

Patrick was crying and I was crying and Lauren who was still very young looked at the ground and smiled. It was like she knew Patrick's grandpa was there.

Patrick cried even more and I said, "It's okay.. He's so proud of you.."

We sat down and Patrick talked to his grandpa and told him all about the night he won the cup and went into the birth of our daughter.

We stood up to leave and Patrick said, "I love you and I miss you every day grandpa.."

He put the cup in the car and I put Lauren in the car and he was a mess. I walked over to him and I hugged him. He cried and I just held him.

"I miss him so much.." He said

"I know you do, and you miss people more when there are important things, like having a baby.." I said

The car was on and the air was on, the window was down so we could see Lauren.

I was still holding onto Patrick and he said, "We should go.."

"Are you okay?" I asked

"I could stay here all day, just like this.. But I need go share the cup with Buffalo.." He said

"I'll stay here with you as long as you want.." I said

"Really?" He asked

"Of course.." I said

He got in the car and he drove to his grandpa's spot. We all got out and sat on the bench and fed Lauren. Patrick and I just sat there and he said, "I can't believe this is our life now.."

"Neither can I... I feel like I was just seventeen years old sitting here with you when you gave me this ring.."

"I can't believe I did that... I get why your dad hated me. If Lauren was with a guy ten years older than her, I would hate the guy too.."

"I wouldn't hate him, I would be a complete bitch to him and make sure he knew never to hurt my daughter and I would talk to her. Make sure she loved him and that she knew what she was doing and I would trust her... Because that man might be her soulmate, the love of her life.. Age is just a number.." I said

"Do you think we're soulmates?" Patrick asked

"I don't know.. Maybe we were.." I said