Chapter Forty Four
I read Niall's text message over, and over, and over. The words began to make less and less sense the longer I looked at them. Niall had always been this hardy jock that only took notice of me because of my best friend. It never really occured to him that I could actually have a personality and carry similar trates to him. It felt like I was reading the message of a completely different person. Charlotte was holding him back. Liam was as well. All these people in his life were holding him back from becoming an actual nice and developed human being. All at once, it clicked. They were doing the same exact thing to me and Harry was the only thing that cracked the code. Harry was the only thing that brought me out of this stupid trance of self worth. Of believing I was better than everyone else and deserved better nonetheless. Niall was just like me and now he could start all over, well he had started all over. Now it was my turn.
Taking that thought into hand I went back out to my car and headed home. The snow was coming down pretty hard but the only thing I focused on was getting home. I wanted to be away from school, away from all the drama I'd had to endure the past four months. Looking back on it now it just seemed silly, like how could of I possibly sit through games and parties knowing all these people looked at us as if we were in another world. When I was with Charlotte I became one of those prissy bitches and it was no wonder Harry didn't want to compete with Liam. He didn't want to compete knowing whatever he did I was going to end up upset. It all made sense why Harry had done it. He wasn't scared, it wasn't that he didn't want to fight for me, it was that he felt so small compared to Liam his influence towards me meant nothing. He thought that he was making me worse when in reality the only thing that was putting me over my head was Liam and his tactics.
I turned on my wind shield wipers attemptign to see through my window better. The roads were cleared but the blurred lights of the driver's tailights in front of me blinded my vision.
The ride was slow, painful, and unknowing.
I thought the most painful thing I was going to have to endure was leaving Harry. I thought I was going to have until atleast the summer where we'd part our ways but on a good note. We'd know we loved eachother when now Harry probably thought he meant nothing to me.
Finally, I pulled into my driveway. Parking on the edge of the roadway I noticed a small black car, not any small black car, but Harry's. His black sunglasses swinging by the top of his rear view mirror. I noticed a red and black flannel hanging from his chair and a few pictures, old one's of us, still laid out on his dashboard.
I remembered placing them there when I said his car was too perstine. It had no memories in it, no marks that it was actually his. I was rather surprised he'd never removed them.
I pulled my car key's from the slot, stuffed them into my school bag and opened the car door. The snow had nearly stopped yet a small layer of light frost covered the driveway up to my door. My Mom's car wasn't in the driveway knowing she was probably out with Benjamin seeing the elementary school got out for winter break earlier than the highschool students.
I pulled my bag farther onto my shoulder making my way towards the door, my heart beating faster than usual.
It hadn't even crossed my mind at the fact how he'd gotten inside my home. We kept a small key underneath the mat in front of our door but Harry only had noticed me take it from there atleast once considering I usually had a spare key already in my bag.
Mimicking my thoughts, I pulled my house key from my bag placing it into the lock jam and twisting it slightly to the left. The house lights were off and it looked the same as it had in the morning when I left for school.
The only thing that was changed was when I'd opened the door Harry's black jacket lay hung on the small coat rack by the doorway. He'd always put it there whenever he came to my house and I'd gotten practically used to it. Now, looking at it, it simply looked like an alien object to my eyes.
