REIMAGINED | Jikook | Omegaverse

34

Jimin taps the beat to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star onto Jungkook's chest while looking out the window. He stares longingly at the moon. Inside, he's hurting. His thoughts have been speeding through his head and in fleeting moments, he remembers his pain.

Now that he's under the influence of weed, his thoughts have slowed down and the bad memories and wishes have appeared again.

He wants to be reborn as a star so he can watch over the ones he loves. He wants to watch over Jungkook. He wants to leave him but he wants to stay by his side. Regardless, he wants Kook.

Should he stay and be by his side through thick and thin? Should he bear the pain of living to experience the happiness of being loved? It's almost unbearable.

Should he leave him on Earth and watch him from the sky where it's painless? If he watched over him, he would see him grieve and move on and love someone else... no. He can't. He couldn't.

Still the thought of death is comforting. No more internal struggle. No more crying silently at night quietly so his lover doesn't wake up. No more forcing a smile and a laugh. No more artificial happiness.

He sniffles quietly and Jungkook shifts slightly. He hears the husky voice that sends chills down his spine. "You still awake?" Jimin softly nods and looks up. Jungkook's eyes are fully open. "I thought you were asleep."

Jimin shakes his head and smiles slightly for a quick second before his mouth returns to it's emotionless default position. Jungkook plays with a strand of Jimin's hair. Jimin takes a deep breath. Jungkook doesn't like secrets.

"I was thinking about the stars and the moon..." Jungkook kisses Jimin's forehead softly. "What about it?" Jimin hesitates for a few seconds. "I want to be up there."

Jungkook catches his drift immediately. "Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen to you and I'll try to help you." Jimin shifts up so they're at eye level. Kook rolls onto his side and looks into his eyes.

Jimin hesitates again and chuckles bitterly, wiping his eyes. "You know it's hard for me to talk about but I can try." Jungkook nods and brushes Jimin's hair out of his face. "I'll be quiet and patient. Just take your time."

Jimin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I'm not happy... I'm just not... There's not much to it. It's not like there's a specific reason. I just feel like part of me is empty. I fake being happy all the time... The last time I genuinely smiled was months ago..."

He looks aways from Jungkook and feels himself choking up. His words get caught in the back of his throat and he feels tears prickling the corners of his eyes. Jungkook snakes his hand onto Jimin's waist and squeezes it gently.

Jimin breathes out slowly and the tears subside. "I love you and I can't imagine anyone being better than you. It's not at all your fault. Nothing has ever been enough to fill the hole in my heart and I don't know why. It seems useless."

Jungkook pulls Jimin closer. Jimin continues. "Why do I even bother trying? There's just so much pain and it aches 24/7 and I can't get rid of it. It just stays. I haven't been fully happy since I was 10. Ever since then, I've just been in a downward spiral."

He looks into Jungkook's eyes. They don't look angry or judging. They're soft and kind. "That's all..." Jungkook wipes Jimin's tears away and pulls him into his chest. "I know it might feel hopeless, but it doesn't have to be. It might take years for you to feel whole but I'll stick with you regardless. Don't go."

Jimin cries into Jungkook's chest quietly. "It's so hard. Why is life so horrible to me? What did I do to deserve this?" Jungkook feels himself tearing up as well. "I don't think anyone deserves what you've been through. You definitely don't. You're the sweetest person I've ever met and you've haven't ever done anything wrong."

They cry together and hold each other until dawn.