The One You Once Were

What was and will never be again

"Oh dear god, no!", Ellie called out and lifted her one-year-old up in the air. The boy, whom they'd named Gregory, had started to learn speech. Usually that would have been great, however he'd quickly picked up a few spells here and there and that was highly problematic.
Ellie put out the fire Gregory had just summoned with her foot, then angrily turned to her siblings, who were sitting around the kitchen table.
"Okay, who of you idiots taught him that spell?", she asked and the others looked at one another, each accusing their brothers or sister.
"I bet it was Caleb!", Thorn said sneakily, which brought Ellie to assume he himself was guilty.
"Hey!", Caleb outraged himself. "I could never! There's only one of us that's this jokester like."
All eyes averted to Dalia, who raised her hands in defeat.
"But this time, it seriously was a coincidence. I didn't mean to teach him, he overheard me trying to start a fire and must've picked it up from there.", she explained. Ellie shook her head and started to talk to her baby to not have him use that dangerous spell again.
This kind of bickering happened daily by now, never with ill will, mostly just because the siblings liked messing with each other. I'd kinda gotten used to it and sometimes, their playful fighting could be very humorous.
However, as much as I enjoyed all this, I was still thinking of having to leave. I did take care of Gregory a lot but so did the siblings and even Kilian so I sometimes felt like I wasn't as needed here anymore. And I wasn't saying that as if it were a bad thing, it was good to know they could handle things on their own. It had just been my most important argument for not leaving and that faded away right in front of me. I was certain I wanted to leave, perhaps catch up with the Mikaelsons. I'd grown a lot during my time with them and yet, I felt like it was time to explore, connect with the girl I was before all this. It seemed selfish and it was eating at me throughout the days but my desire grew with each passing hour.
It was unfair to keep it in any longer, I needed to be honest but I didn't know how. How did you tell the people that were like family to you that you felt the need to leave them?
Today however, seemed like a good opportunity. The town wanted to throw a feast, in order to celebrate something I didn't even know. The siblings all wanted to go, Kilian would spent some time with other parents and only Ellie would join in later because she wanted to first tuck in her son. Weirdly enough, I wanted her to know first. I knew I could count on her reaction to be genuine and I also felt the most indebted to her since I'd promised to support raise her son.
So, I volunteered to help her and waited until her son had fallen asleep to finally speak up.
"Ellie, I need to talk to you.", my voice was a bit shaky. I didn't think only talking about leaving would he this hard.
"I figured.", she smiled at me and waited until I was ready to continue.
"You know I love you with all my heart and I would never say anything that could hurt you or your siblings even in the slightest. So if you want me to stay, I will without hesitation.", I started. "However, my thoughts have been spiraling lately and I think it's time for me to move on from this place. Not from you, I will never forget you and I swear to check up on you, assure your own and your family's safety. Yet, if I don't go now, I fear it might break me. It's incredibly selfish, I get it..."
That's when Ellie cut me off. Her eyes were emanating the kindest energy and care, which suddenly lifted every weight I had felt and feared right off my shoulders.
"Caroline, you have been there for us for so long, putting our needs above your own for years. You have done more than enough for us. So don't feel guilty about wanting to get out of this town. Until we have perfected the spell, you should go and explore, get back with Klaus. I've seen how he looks at you. That love in his eyes... who would I be to deny him to experience that kind of joy again? By all means, you are free to go. I will tell my children stories of the beautiful guardian they have and they will happily see you through means of magic.", she gave me a sweet hug, which was exactly what I needed.
"I was so worried.", I suddenly started weeping. "I thought that if I left, you would never forgive me."
Her face turned serious. "Oh, I will never forgive you."
It was like my heart stopped for a second. She wouldn't?
"At least if you don't allow us to throw you a farewell dinner.", she started grinning. Well played. And thank god that she'd only been joking about the forgiveness part.