THE JOCK JUST WANTS THE PREP [ 1 ]

37 - REASSURANCE

|| NOAH ||

Walking to my car with the others, James was very talkative about me, "why can't hot guys fall for me too..." he whined. I felt a tinge of guilt for him. He'd been out of the closet way longer than me, yet I was able to get a significant other before him.

"Seesh, you act like you're gonna die. You still have a lot of years to find one," Felix rolled his eyes, opening the door to my car and getting in.

"But I want one while I'm still young," James kept complaining.

I looked around the area and waited for Annabel to show up. The others had already made themselves comfy. After a few more of eyeing the place, I see her walking up to me looking bothered. "How'd it go?" I said to her.

"It... it went okay," was all she said before silently getting in the passenger seat. Nodding slowly, I got in to and started my car. Everyone buckled up in their seats and I drove us out of here.

-

Dropping off James, Ethan, then Kate, I start heading to Felix's house. Rain also began pouring which was the only sound filling in the silence. Felix was looking at me through the front mirror and frequently peered at Annabel who was leaning over the window staring outside. He silently mouths a few words, I couldn't exactly accurately make out what he was saying, but it was probably along the lines of, "Is she okay?" I gave him a shrug, knowing that she really isn't but didn't have the heart to keep pressuring her into admitting. Felix sighs and leans forward, "look Anna..." he starts. Anna didn't bother to make any movement and kept her gaze on the passing trees and houses. Felix furrowed his eyebrows, "...'all' of us know that there's something making you uneasy. We're worried okay? We jus-"

"Can all of you guys stop worrying too much?" Annabel shot her head towards us. Felix and I looked at her in shock. All three of us fell utterly quiet. None of us ever expect her to raise her voice like that. Felix looks at her with a leer and falls back on his seat, "sorry, as I said, we're just worried," he mutters lowly.

"N-no, I'm sorry," Annabel apologizes too, "it's just that, please, there really is nothing to be concerned about," she says before turning back again at the window. I didn't know what to do. Throughout the ride, none of us ever let out another word. The uncomfortable hush of sound left a barrier between all of us keeping us from making any sort of contact.

-

"See ya, Noah," Felix said as he got off the car. Closing the door before him, he walks up to his house while I watched him safely enter. Driving off again, I held my hands on my wheel and kept my vision on the road in front of me. Annabel was still quiet, she wasn't even looking at me. Was it really that personal to her that she couldn't even tell it to her best friend? She said it herself that I could be open to her, why couldn't she do the same thing in return? After all, we've been through together since we were young, I thought you could at least let me help you with your issues Anna, but you can't even give me a clue on what's gotten you to act like this. My grip tightens as I was getting upset myself. "Noah..." I heard. My eyes widened as I turn to look at her who still has her back on me, "do you... do you feel happy around Brad?" She says.

I didn't exactly know what kind of question is that or where it was coming from, but my eyes turned back to the road, "yeah, honestly, he's helping me figure out these alienated feelings. The more I accept myself, I learn to like him, vice versa," I had to admit, I felt really mushy talking about this, but at least this is a conversation.

"I see..." she lightly nods. She kept silent for a few seconds again before speaking, "Noah... are you really sure you like Brad?" Her tone sounded unsure as if she was in need for reassurance. Like she needed to hear it one more time.

I stared at her, my eyebrows creased inwards, "of course I am. I said it myself didn't I?" I was getting weirded out by these set of questions coming from her. She was starting to puzzle me a lot more. It was so odd, so out if place. After that, she hadn't spoken another word, leaving me with a frown.

-

After a few minutes went by and we finally arrived at her place. Annabel hadn't moved from her position. Poking her lightly on her shoulder, I spoke, "Anna, we're here," I said. She nods but keeps herself from looking at me.

She stifles a sniffle, "thanks," she says and opens the door, gets out, and leaves. Just like that, she didn't bother to look back at me and just kept walking forward. I felt my heart ache as if this unspoken topic is pulling our friendship apart. I wouldn't call myself to be a very sensitive person, but watching her just take off like that made me want to cry. I hugged myself, not knowing how to handle this scenario. It's as if she's slowly changing ever since... ever since Brad started getting closer. I looked at myself in the mirror, wet eyes. Perhaps, she must think that Brad is worth more than her. Im not sure. She gave me advice, she told me things about him. I felt guilt surge through me, as if a frozen lake formed a wave and crashed onto me.