THE JOCK JUST WANTS THE PREP [ 1 ]

73 - SECRETS MEANT TO BE KEPT

||NOAH||

My grandparents on my mother's side own quite a massive house but still old fashioned. Lots of landscape pictures as well as portraits of both individuals and as a family covered the walls. It feels oddly nice when I was introduced to my own guest room. It has a modern rustic vibe to it. The cushions of the bed is soft and bouncy but the fabric in both the sheets and blankets was a little bit... rough and scratchy, not gonna lie. We plan to stay here for three days, the reunion partaking in about two. I get the chance to visit places which makes me happy. One drawback is that my grandparents don't have the strongest of wifi signals here which is a bit inconvenient. Here I'm sat alone on my bed as I stare at my phone. I have sent a message to everyone to see how they're doing and I haven't gotten the pleasure to read them until now.

"Dude... I think I ate too much when I went to a Chinese buffet a while ago, my stomach's fucked..." Felix said. I sighed and shook my head as I somewhat expected that he would go crazy at a restaurant like that.

"I'm fine, I went shopping a while ago nothing much," James said and I nodded to myself. Good to know that he's currently well.

"Still working on your sex scene," was all Kate sent.

"I hate you," is what I wrote back.

Lastly, I sent one to both Anna and Brad. There wasn't exactly a response on Anna's behalf but Brad told me that they are hanging out together. I smiled and asked if he could take a picture. Recently, he attached an image of both of them in the mall just giving a happy expression at the camera. I do find it wholesome to see both interacting with each other; although, part of me as well envied that I could be with them. The only people who I'm close to at the moment are my parents. I usually only get to see my elders occasionally but not as often and I try my best to speak with them, but I guess I could say that we're only well acquainted with one another. I don't even really know who would be arriving at the reunion tomorrow, to be frank. I mild knock on the door emitted and I called out, "come in," I said.

My Dad slowly creaks open and peers inside, "dinner's ready," he says. Nodding, I shuffled to the edge of the bed and got off, following my father through the hallway and to the dining room where my Grandparents and mother sat down together. "Oh child," my Grandma stood up and gave him a warm hug. With a soft look, I returned it to her. My Grandad just grins and motions me to sit between where presumably my parents would be sat. " Oh how we miss you," my Grandma says sweetly.

I gave a small chuckle, " I missed you too," I said, returning the gaze to both of them. My mother comes to help set the table with plates of what looks to pork chops, a bowl of coleslaw, and mashed potatoes. My Grandfather stands up from his seat to open the fridge in the kitchen. Turning his head to look back at the table, he brings out a bottle of beer. "Would you like some Albert?" He says to my father.

My Dad sneaks a glimpse at mom who looks unfazed, "ah, sure why not," he accepts.

Then, Grandad turns his eyes to me, "what about you Noah? Would you like some?" He raises his brows.

I let out a small awkward laugh, "heh, no thank you, sir," I pursed my lips.

He tilts his head, "why not? Beer is amazing, you should try it," he lets out a laugh. I didn't say anything, nor even part my lips; instead, I just stated quiet whilst staring at my water already in front of me. He sighs and brings out two glasses from the cupboards instead. Handing one over to my father, they both gave cheers and clanked their cups. With my fork and knife in hand, we gave a silent moment before digging in. Coming over here to Germany, I still remain polite as I did back in America. My mother started a conversation to catch up, my father was eventually brought in as well. I was peacefully minding my own business when out of nowhere, my Grandad asked if I had any luck finding a girl. My eyes went wide but I tried to not show much if my reaction. Looking back at them, I swallowed my food, "oh, no I don't," I grinned.

"Aw why not, with such a handsome face you should be able to attract a pretty lady," my Grandmother sounded fond. I just shook my head. I noticed that my mother looked stoic and my father had a small frown. Then, he places a hand around my shoulder with a pat and smiles, "Noah definitely is a good boy, and I'm certain he has eyes on him from great people, yeah?" My father beams at me with a nod.

"Y-yes," I murmured. My father's eyes held support in them. he just wants to keep it a secret for now because neither of my parents isn't surely confident about how my Grandparents would react. I guess he just wants to protect me. To be fair, there wasn't really much at a point to reveal such a secret to my elders anyways.

-

As we all finished our meals, I helped cleaning up the table as well as washing the dishes. The adults are in the other room chatting away. The sound of rushing water in front of me filled the emptiness in my room as I am minding my own business.

It got me thinking: coming out isn't only a one-time thing, you never stop doing it. You do it again, and again, and again. Some people deserve to know the truth, some don't. It can get easier the more you do it, but still, that fear still resides somewhere within...