Bombshell [ Bakugo x Reader ]

🎄2019 Christmas Special! How Bakugo Stole Christmas!🎄

It was the morning before Christmas, and the town was busy with shoppers and laughter. Everywhere you turned, it seemed like someone was preparing for the big day tomorrow.

Children were visiting Santa at stores, parents were busy buying presents, and carolers filled the sky with joyous songs.

Everything seemed so happy and well, it was like everyone enjoyed Christmas. Except...

A man who lived up North did not. In fact, he hated everything about Christmas. The songs, the gifts, and especially spending time with loved ones. He much preferred to be all alone.

Now, don't ask why he hated Christmas. Nobody really knew the reason. Was it because his shoes were too tight? Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right? But maybe, just maybe, it was because his heart was two sizes, too small.

But for whatever reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating everyone who celebrated.

He stared down at the town from his cave. He had a sour, grinchy expression on his face. 

"Ugh. Tomorrow is Christmas. I can see all these dumb asses already hanging their stockings, filling them with crap." He turned and started pacing in place. "I should find a way to stop Christmas. Tomorrow, all the boys and girls will wake bright and early and run for their toys. They'll scream and cry, ugh, so much noise." He groaned, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"And then after presents, all the people, young and old, will sit and feast. They'll stuff their faces, and just eat and eat until they explode."

"And then..." He shuddered, cringing at the very thought. "The one thing I hate most of all.. They'll all gather around the center of town, and start singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs.. Ugh, my ears are already bleeding." 

The more Bakugo thought about it, still pacing the ground, the more he thought he needed to stop this nonsense. "For years I've dealt with this bullshit! I gotta stop it, but how? How do I stop Christmas? He asked out loud.

It was then he got an idea! A very awful idea, indeed.

"I know just what to do!" Bakugo laughed. "First, I need to make a Santy Claws outfit." Bakugo laughed and laughed. "This'll be such a great trick. With this coat and hat, they'll never know I wasn't Saint Nick."

You're a mean one, Mr. Bakugo. You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Bakugo! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Bakugo. Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Bakugo! I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

"Deku! Dammit, come here you useless dog!" He yelled. A small, green dog came into the room, looking pitiful. "Since I don't have a reindeer, you'll just have to do." He then dressed Deku in a set of antlers and reins.

From there on, Bakugo loaded up a sleigh with empty sacks, and fastened Deku to the sleigh.

He hopped on the sleigh and slapped the reigns. "Let's go!" He ordered, as Deku jumped in shock and took off down the hill.

Once he reached town, all was quiet and dark. Bakugo wore a smug smile, nobody knew he was there. 

He went from house to house, stealing presents and decorations. Nothing was safe, not even your stockings.

You're a vile one, Mr. Bakugo. You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.Mr. Bakugo! Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a rotter, Mr. Bakugo. You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots.
Mr. Bakugo! You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!