chapter 13

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maddie got to where she didnt care if jax ever called her again. really she did but she kept telling herself that. she hated how much she let him in so quickly and fell for him and abel.

a week after joy made her sober up she sat on her couch with the tv on. she wasnt watching it just had it on for noise, she stared at the wall. she heard a bike pull up, knowing it was jax. he knocked but she ignored it. after a few minutes of him pouding on the door she swung it open. "what" jax was taken back but he couldn't blame her. he planned on coming here to end things but seeing her made him change his mind. atleast for the moment.

jax walked in and kissed her hard. maddie didnt do anything but stand there for a minute. she let go and kissed him back. jax picked her up and carried her to her room. he started out sweet and gentle "god ive missed you maddie. shits been so crazy im sorry" she just nodded she didnt want to talk. she really didnt care. jax slid into her moaning, while it felt good for maddie she didnt fully enjoy it. she couldnt she was broken.

jax was slow and loving for a while before he picked up the pace and got rough. "fuck baby i love you. i love this pussy. shit" jax moaned out. maddie scratched his back as she came. it felt good to cum, hell it felt good to fuck jax even if him getting rough hurt. she cuddled into him once they were done. jax could feel the disconnect, shit wasnt the same. maybe it was in his head he didnt know. but he knew what needed to happen. he needed to keep her safe.

after a few minutes jax went to the bathroom and came back getting dressed. "where you going" she asked " i gotta go" he said cold. "what." he didnt answer "oh so what you ghost me for a fucking week. drive up to fuck me tell me you love me. im not some fucking croweater jackson. im your old lady dont fucking try to treat me like trash!" she yelled really she knew that was a lie she was trash after being raped.

jax moved moved to her "who the fuck do you think youre talking to?!" he yelled "youre not my old lady youre not shit to me! you have been so naive to think i fucking loved you. i knew you would be easy to fucking mold into what i wanted, i needed someone to help with abel. but this is to much work. dont fucking call me dont come to charming!" he yelled.

"no fuck you jax! i dont believe that shit at all. i gave rights with abel!" jax hit the wall next to her head "NO THE FUCK YOU DONT. I DIDNT FILE THE PAPERS!!" he stepped back and told her something he knew would end everything and push her away.

he looked in her eyes expecting to see tears and pain but all that looked back at him was hate, anger and coldness. good thats how he wants her to look at him. "ive been fucking tara this entire time. shes going to raise abel not you. you arent shit to us. but you were a good lay now that was fun." he said with a smirk. maddie couldnt believe it. before she knew what she was doing she was punching jax.

jax was caught off gaurd when maddie hit him. she told him she could box and defend herself but he didnt believe it. it felt like a grown man hitting him. before he could recover from the first hit and shock maddie had basically beat the shit out of him. "GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I FUCKING HATE YOU. FUCK YOU JACKSON TELLER! I HATE YOU!!" she yelled as she hit him. jax got a hold of her and wrapped his arms around her to make her stop.

he stood there a few minutes until she seemed calm. he wanted nothing more than to tell her it was all a lie and make shit better. but this is how it had to be. he needed her to hate him. he needed her to stay far away from him and charming. it was better that way. after a few minutes he let her go and walked out the door.

maddie sunk to the floor hitting it. "i hate you! i hate you!" she yelled out as she heard his bike start up. "i love him." she whispered before she curled up on her side and cried herself to sleep on the hard wood floor.

jax rode back to the clubhouse in Tacoma to find his brothers sitting outside. clay, him, tig, juice and chibs rode up to handle an emergency with tacoma while everyone in charming was on lockdown. he sat down next them pulling out a smoke. they all noticed the bruises already forming and busted lip. "the fucked happened brother" tig asked "honestly. she beat the fuck out of me. she always told me she could fight but fuck shes good." everyone looked shocked. "i may have told her she wasnt shit to me and that id been fucking tara the entire time" tig shoved him "you dumbass" "i needed to end shit! i said what i knew would make her accept it and hate me. its better that way." jax yelled before stormed off.

kozik and happy looked confused as fuck. "his old lady. met her up here a few months ago." tig told them "i get it. but fuck she was a good one. her baking rivaled bobbys" he laughed "aye the lass was the right one. hes gonna regret it, if he doesnt already. i knew the lass had a good right hook." chibs said laughing.

maddie looked at videos and pictures of abel on her phone for days. crying because she missed him so much. she missed jax to but she hated him or atleast she wanted to. after three days of wollering in heart ache and self pity she picked herself up and started to piece herself back together.

she installed a new security system with cameras and alarms. she decided to get a gaurd dog. she bought one that was already trained with commands and everything. she blocked everyones numbers from charming but she couldnt get herself to delete the pictures. she started going to the gym every day. she wasnt going to let herself fully spiral or let herself get hurt again.

she done her best to forget jax, abel and everyone she considered family for a few months. but every night she couldn't hold it in anymore she would cry out for jax, cry for the baby she considered her son and the life she thought they would have, she cried for baby she lost. she cried and screamed until her throat hurt, she fell asleep with nothing but pain and heart ache. in her sleep she relived her rape every night, and when she wasnt reliving that nightmare she relived her and jax breaking up. she didnt get no rest, she became depressed.

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