familiar

chapter 19

happy was worried about his little girl. every time he looked at her he could see the little four year old excited when he came through the door and begging him to read her a story. he hated that he let her crazy mother drive him away, thats when he founds the club. him and kozik prospected together, the only thing he would change was fighting more for maddie.

he wasnt surprised to find out her mom made digs at him hes surprised she didnt just call him a piece of shit. he thought he had a good relationship with maddie they didnt hide anything from each other, aside from him being a son. he made sure he was always there for her as best he could. even if now that she was older they wouldn't see each other for a while they normally talked quite a bit.

he knew whoever this ex was of hers he really messed her up. happy had no idea how to fix it or help her she had never been this heart broken. he knew once she found out she was pregnant she was happy about it even if she was shocked and knew it tore her apart to find out right after that she lost it.

he went to talk to maddie after they ate. "hey daddy" she answered the door "mads im worried about you." he always got straight to the point. "i know. im sorry. ill be okay please dont worry." "mads i always worry about my little girl. i just know theres more going on with you just talk to me i can help" "ive just got alot going on in my head and shit i have to sort out. plus this whole thing you being a son is new and i have to wrap my head around that." she undertood it and didnt care that he was a son. it was just crazy that he was the tacoma killer, the same man that was so soft and caring with her since she was born. "why didnt you ever have another woman after my mom." happy sighed "honestly i loved your mom. even though shes somewhat crazy. she pushed me out and away from yall, i found the club. i should have fought more for you but i didnt want you in this life especially that young. after your mom i just didnt care to be with anyone, it was to much shit. i still got what i needed from woman why would i tie myself back down." "ew. so basically she broke you? and you didnt want to go through that again." "shut it kid." maddie laughed. "after that type of shit what would make you take on another relationship or go maybe go back to mom?" "shits gonna be different for me than you. but no woman ive found has been worth the bullshit. i tried for a while to get back with your mom, tried to be that family. i didnt want to lose you. back then i thought if i lost her i lost you, kind of did go that way but that was both of our faults not yours." "did you still love her? now." "i did. no i got love for the woman cause she gave me you." maddie nodded. happy let her sort her thoughts out. "what if she came back with joy, would you raise her as your own?" happy scrunched his eyebrows "she has her own dad. but i wouldnt take your mom back after everything she done and said but id help. i wouldn't let you or your sister hurt or need anything even if she isnt my kid." "so youre okay with scott helping with me? even still" "i cant complain. did i like that he was always there, hell naw. but he done good by you atleast. he stepped up when your mom wouldnt let me and i didnt fight it. i think i fought having you around him more than i should have. i seen that he was there for you and helped which changed my mind. i think you took a lot longer than i did. what you thinking about doing like he did? stepping up?"

maddie was quiet for a minute. "yeah. i love his kid as much as my own. hell the minute i seen a picture i loved him, then when i held him i knew he was mine. i found out his dad actually filed for me to be his guardian and have shared custody. i would love to raise him. but im not sure if i can let myself let him back in what if shit goes all fucked again? what if he decides to push me away again? would i lose my kid? i cant trust myself to be alone with him honestly. theres something about him that drives me crazy, like i cant get enough. its like this fire that only he can ignite. we never really argued but maybe we were just still in the honeymoon phase. it wasnt until he broke things off "to keep me safe" that we argued. i have no idea what to do. what if i cant just share a kid with him. i would love to be a family and be with him but im scared to. i dont want to get hurt or the baby be in the middle. right now he is young enough to not remember me, but in a few years thatll tear him apart."