familiar

chapter 24

it had been two weeks since the lockdown was lifted. happy patched into samcro while jax was still contemplating going nomad. he knew no matter where he was he would have maddie and abel, right now thats all he cared about. jax knew it didnt really matter if maddie moved to charming or stayed in tacoma, she would take care of their son. him being nomad would make it easier for her to not uproot her entire life.

shit with clay was getting worse theyd actually had a few fists fights because of it. he didnt trust his president anymore. clay blamed it on maddie and abel but really it was jts manuscript and realizing gemma and clays betrayal of being together behind jts back. maddie knew everything and helped him to think rationally, well as rational as he could.

she made sure he knew it didnt matter what charter he was in that she would help him as much as she could. it may have only been almost three weeks since jax convinced her to give him another shot but she could see everything he said was truthful. jax came home every night he wasnt on a run and when he was he was on the phone with with her or consistently texting her once club business was over for the day. maddie knew it didnt matter to the sweetbutts that jax was in a relationship or as he would say had an old lady. they would still try their hardest to shove their pussies at him, and hope theyd be the one to catch his attention. most of the croweaters understood that jax was taken again even though a few still tried their hardest especially if Maddie wasnt around.

one thing maddie hated about being back in charming was seeing the fuckers who assaulted her. it was getting to where they were always somewhere, the hospital, the grocery store, the park, shed even seen them on her and ables morning walks. it was like they were watching her. she started carrying multiple knifes along with her usual gun. the entire thing was started to weigh on her. but she would rather it tear her apart than the guys find out she knew it would kill them if they knew. to this day she couldnt help but think in the back of her mind jax wouldnt want her anymore, that she would lose everything again. even though she was surrounded by family and loved everyone in charming she felt so alone because of her secret. she tried her best to call joy when her anxiety about it all began to act up but most of the time it happened late a night when she was laying in bed after going a few rounds with jax.

she would slip out of bed and put on jax tshirt, go watch abel sleep for a few minutes before grabbing jax cigarettes and sneaking out the back door. she quit smoking a couple years back but every now and then enjoyed on especially if she was drinking heavily or stressed out.

tonight was one of those nights. she looked over at jax who was softly snoring, you could barely hear it. he looked so peaceful, made her feel like their world wasnt going to shit around them. she could watch abel and jax sleep all night, it was when she could memorize everything about them without being caught staring or missing something. when jax was on a run she would sleep in abels room on the futon after hours of watching him. she wanted nothing more than to take her family away from all the bullshit and keep them safe. its not that she wanted them out of charming or away from the club it was everything that had been happening. she wanted to just kill zobelle and weston to get it over with and keep her guys safe.

she silently pulled some underwear on and jax tshirt and walked out of the room like most nights. after checking in on abel, watching him breathe and memorizing his sweet innocent face she grabbed jax cigarettes and beer before she walked out the bag door. it was warm out at night the concrete to the back patio was still pretty warm from the sun that day, it felt nice on her bare feet. she looked up at the sky as she smoked and drank some of her beer. she dialed her sisters number and waited for her to answer, it was the same time every time. joy was normally just closing up the bar so she was already up.

"mads" joy answered. maddie was quiet before she let out a soft and quiet "hey" "oh baby. we have to get you through this. its destroying you. i know it hurts but youre so much stronger than what those fucks done to you." maddie began to cry "y-yeah i know. i just cant do it. everyone will look at me and treat me different. ill lose them. then ill be left worse off than i was a month ago. i just need to forget." "no forgetting wont help. you need to come clean. you need them to know to help you. you wont heal if you dont let yourself." maddie was silent "yeah youre right joy. ill tell him."