Toxic Love (Completed)

Chapter 30: Ill Give You Whatever You Desire

Hey Guys! I wanted to talk about a few things in this chapter before it starts. Mostly because some people are confused about Xander and his feelings and stuff. I've gotten countless comments and wall posts on this account and another so I just wanted to clear some things up. 1. Xander is very bipolar if I haven't made that clear. Xander will one day like Megan and one day despise her. It all depends. He can help that. But more chooses not to. You will hate Xander at some point I'm this story if you already haven't. Joey is another person who will be huge in this story. So if you like Joey don't worry, Joey will come in more soon. Now with the whole baby thing. Xander doesn't care that he lost his son or daughter. He cares that he lost his heir. An heir is very important to him and he needs one to pass everything down to. Xander may or may not care later on(depending on what I chose to do) but at this point in time. He doesn't care about the baby. But he doesn't somewhat care about Megan. As I said he is very bipolar. And anybody who is upset about the baby dying, this stuff with happen in this book. Worse stuff with happen. More heartbreak and loss. So don't expect or think this to be a one time thing. I hope I addressed as much as possible and if you do have any questions please comment them down below and I will answer them. As well if you have any ideas for the book! I would love to encorpatate any ideas you guys have! This chapter is a bit shorter so I apologize in advance!

PS. This chapter may make Megan seem a little selfish, but she just lost a baby, so bare with her!

I wanted to say the truth. Yes, I truly think that of you. You are truly a monster. You don't give a shit about anybody but your self.

You've killed so many that I wonder if you are even capable of loving, or shit, even caring for someone.

I was hurt for a minute when Joey had told me that Xander seemed to not really care about the loss of our baby. But then I just felt completely stupid.

How could I even feel sad about something like that? I should know somewhere deep inside me that he doesn't care about me. And he especially doesn't care about the baby.

But something in me keeps saying that he isn't as bad as he seems. It's telling me that I can break this wall of evil and hatred and find the true Xander somewhere underneath it all.

But I find that quite difficult to believe, only for 1 reason.

I've given him so many changes, to earn my trust, to to even keep it. And he just keeps on hurting me. I'm getting sick and tired of losing something I love and care about.

First my mother, then my brother, then my father, then my baby.

And I'm always reminded that I lost them too.

I was completely blind sided with all of the horror that was filled with me now. I wished that I could stay in this thought state, but I knew I had to respond to Xander.

"I don't know." I said.

Once again, I was too weak to say anything. To truly say what I've been thinking these last few seconds.

"You." Xander said looking over to Joey. "Give us a minute."

Joey stood up from the chaos beside me end left the room. Xander then walked toward me and sat down right where Joey was sitting.

"So, I heard the news." Xander said.

Great, he won't even say it. He won't even admit that he is sorry or anything like that. Xander is a ruthless bastard.

"I know." I said.

Xander looked at me then his eyes trailed down to my stomach.

"I'm sorry he killed it." Xander said in a low voice.

Did Xander just say sorry? I know it wasn't for his own actions, but it's a start.

"It's for the best." I lied. Sorta.

That baby would have gone through hell and back to please Xander. But I know that it could have had a happy life, only if it would have lived.

Xander chuckled in disbelief. "How can you say that Megan? They said you were super upset over it. They said you wouldn't stop crying. One of the reason why I didn't come down here till now. I can't stand crying people. Especially the ones I care about." Xander said

"Bullshit Xander, you don't care about me. You don't get to say that shit! You hate me! You despise me! Why tell me something only to take it back 5 minutes later?! Just please leave, I don't want to see you. Please just send Joey back in here. I want to talk to him." I said freaking out at Xander.

Xander shook his head. "No, I'm sick of you hanging out with him. He's a bad influence. What is he to you anyways? A boyfriend? A lover? What? I MEAN SHIT, ALL YOU DO IS HANGOUT WITH HIM!" Xander teller.

Xander was clearly jealous. And person could see that. "He's my friend Xander! The only person I have here who I can trust!" I yelled back.

"You can trust me. Can't you?" Xander ask.

I shook my head. "I can't trust you Xander. You are a hateful monster who I don't really care about. You killed our baby because you are so fucking reckless you weren't careful enough! First you got me pregnant because you were too stupid to use a condom when raping me, then you didn't do anything when he put a knife to my belly! Where you DAMN well knew I had our baby at!" I yelled.

My stress was rising greatly. I was about to lose my fucking mind.

I was so mad and upset, i didn't want to see Xander anymore. I wanted him to leave.

"Megan..." Xander began to say but I cut him off.

"Leave me alone Xander. Please. You've done enough. You can't help me." I told him as I turned my back to him.

Xander touched my shoulder and faced me toward him.

"Please Megan. I'll help you, I'll give you whatever you need." Xander said.

Whatever I need? I needed something to love, to hold. I wanted my baby back.

I turned to Xander. I looked him in the eyes. I knew he would give me what I desired.

"I want something." I told him.

"What do you want Megan?" Xander asked me.

"I want you to give me another baby."