Chapter Sixteen

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I always end up losing control

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I always end up losing control.

It's hard to keep it around her, I'd like to see anyone else deal with being forgotten any better than I have.

I promise you, it's anything but easy.

I made me sick to my stomach, picturing her face and the look or horror it had when I yelled.

I didn't mean to take it that far but I lost control of myself, hearing her yell at me and tell me I didn't care, not to care, that I didn't have a right to? It pierced my ears and brought me back to the darkest place I've been. After that I wasn't myself, not until I walked away from her.

I couldn't believe she almost got the best of me too, I wanted to lay it flat for her right there. Blurt out that's it's me, the guy she fell in love with once.

The guy that fell in love with her as hasn't stopped.

The one she wouldn't take no from until I finally gave in. Not that I didn't like her, I just knew she deserved better than me, but at one point or another, even the strongest man couldn't deny her eyes piercing into their soul.

Also the fact that I was ridiculously crazy about her.

We had it so good at one point, we spent every waking moment together.

She used to call me to pick her up at two in the morning, on a school night, just so we could park at this one spot and stare at the lake.

Talking, kissing, it was a lot more than that sometimes too. I missed it more than anything, I missed hearing her little voice, laughing my name when I was purposely trying to make her laugh.

She gave me the nickname 'vinny' when we first hung out . I was vinny and she was Gracie.

My Gracie.

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