Chapter 9 : Broken

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Bakugou trails along the pathway outside of UA. He knows the route to the hospital so well by now that he could walk there with his eyes closed.

The last three weeks without Midoriya had been hell for him. Even though Bakugou would visit him everyday, it wasn't the same.

He couldn't see that precious smile or bright green eyes filled with hope. He couldn't hear his soft voice or contagious laugh.

Bakugou was completely lost and empty with Midoriya.

He soon arrived at the hospital and went straight to the elevator, robotically hitting the third floor like he had every day for the past three weeks. It only took a few seconds to reach the floor, but to Bakugou it felt like a lifetime.

He missed Midoriya. Even though he'd seen him yesterday and the day before that, he still felt impatient.

Finally the doors open and he walks down the hall, not even bothering to notify the nurses. Besides, they had became quite accustomed to Bakugou's daily visits so they knew as soon as they saw the blonde where he was heading to.

Bakugou slowly opened Midoriya's door. Strangely enough he was trying to be quiet as if Midoriya was simply asleep and could awaken at anytime. But, deep down he knew that was a lie and didn't want to admit the truth.

Bakugou approached Midoriya and sat at his beside. He didn't dare to touch him as his body looked so fragile and weak. Bakugou was afraid that if he was to just lightly hold Midoriya's hand that the boy would break.

'Hey Deku, I'm here again.' He starts, watching the lifeless figure on the bed. Midoriya was covered in many tubes and wrapped in bandages. The sight was too painful for Bakugou to look at.

So, instead he watched the heart monitor to feel assured with every beat of his heart. Even if it was mainly the machines doing it for him.

'I've actually had trouble sleeping lately. Ever since the... incident.' Bakugou says, his teeth gritting slightly at the memories that surge through his head. 'I'm just so scared.' He admits, his eyes watering slightly.

'Remember when we were kids? How I'd always make fun of you for wanting to be a hero?' Silence was Bakugou's only answer but he continues anyways. 'Well, lately I've been feeling guilty. Because, I never truely hated you Deku. I was just so so scared.' Bakugou takes a shaky breath.

'I've always cared about you, y'know? The reason why I bullied you so much, the reason why I threw that damn book of yours in the fountain was because I was completely terrified.' He finally has enough courage to look at Midoriya's face. 'Because I always knew that somehow, this would be your fate. With or without a quirk.'

His gaze drops slightly. 'You've always been kind to everyone Deku, even me when I treated you like shit. But the thing is, that kindness you have - it was bound to put you in the way of danger. So I-' Bakugou's voice cracks as he bits the inside of his cheek, trying to stop the emotions that are forming in his throat.

'I tried to discourage you, I-I tried to make you not want to be a hero anymore. But you never gave up.' A tear slips past Bakugou's guard, then another. 'And I'm s-so sorry Deku. I'm so fucking sorry. I was greedy, I wanted to make sure you were safe but ended up destroying you myself.'

Bakugou's sobs grew. He had never admitted this to anyone. Everyone he ever knew always thought of him as a cold blooded bastard, a narcissist. But he has always cared, he had always had good intentions but struggled to show his emotions.

And he regretted only being able to tell Midoriya now the whole truth behind his cruelness.

After Bakugou calmed down, he began to talk again.

'Another thing that has been keeping me from sleeping is your mum.' He let out forced laugh, 'Crazy, hey? She's absolutely harmless and too kind to lay a hand on anyone. But it's her mental state at the moment. I'm afraid she might give up on you.'

Bakugou sighs and tries his best to stay strong, outright refusing to have anymore breakdowns today. 'I overheard her talking with your doctor the other day. He said that you had shown no signs of waking up and it's just the machines keeping you here. He said that she should think about turning off the machines and letting you go. But it's a lie, right? You're still here. It's not the machines.'

Bakugou reaches for a cord that was plugged into the wall - the main appliance that was allowing Midoriya to hang on. 'You're still here. The machines aren't doing a thing, right? We just need to prove that to them. You can do it Deku, I know you can. All you need to do is show them.'

Bakugou's grip on the cord tightens and his hand slowly trails down to the socket, right near the plug. His fingers wrap around the plug, enveloping the plastic fully. Tears stream down his face as he prepares himself, even though he's completely out of his mind. The stress, anxiety and depression had taken over. He still hadn't came to terms with the situation.

His hand starts to slowly pull until...

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!'

A fist collides with Bakugou's jaw, sending him flying against the wall - away from the outlet completely. He rubs his jaw slightly, the pain tingling but him still feeling completely numb.

The person approaches Bakugou and grabs him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up against the wall. Bakugou realises it's Todoroki, but his body refuses to move. He just feels so numb and empty. He just wants this suffering to end.

Todoroki glares at the blonde that is in an unfazed state. Bakugou doesn't look bothered one bit by what he almost did and that really pissed Todoroki off.

'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM?!'

Bakugou still doesn't respond or meet Todoroki's gaze. Finally, he sighs and releases Bakugou to the ground with a thump. Bakugou's body lies sluggishly against the wall, him still to fazed to feel a thing. His mind is a mess.

Todoroki pulls out his phone and listens to the dialling in his ear.

'Hello?' The person answers, sounding confused.

'Kirishima it's me. I need you to come to the hospital right now.' Todoroki answers, keeping his eyesight on Bakugou to make sure that he doesn't do anything else to hurt Midoriya.

'Todoroki?' Kirishima's voice pauses. 'Why what is going on? Is everything okay?'

'Bakugou just tried to kill Midoriya.' Todoroki answers plainly. 'I need you to come take him somewhere far away from here.'

And that's all it takes for Kirishima to rush out his door and down the footpath outside of UA. Just what was Bakugou thinking?

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