Save You

Chapter 44 : Thoughts

'I mean overall, hoes are just a chicken nugget. They can look nice and crispy on the outside but on the inside, they're fake.'

Bakugou groans loudly and slams his hands down onto the table. 'I swear to god dunce face. If you even think of making one more quote about food and girls then I'm fucking throwing you out the window.'

Kirishima laughs awkwardly from next to Bakugou and places his hand on his shoulder. 'Come on man, I think Kaminari actually has some talent here. Let's appreciate it.'

'Talent my ass.' Bakugou grunts, leaning back into the seat. 'The only thing he's talented at is pissing me the fuck off.'

'That's true and I'm proud to say that I excel in it.' Kaminari replies sarcastically, making the group of friends laugh.

'I swear to fucking god I'm gonna-.' Bakugou begins but Kirishima cuts him off, calming the now blonde boy down. The group drifts the conversation into a different topic and soon there's loud chatter erupting from their table.

Mina day with her face resting in her hands, sulking loudly to everyone. 'I'm still so saddd." She whines, 'I really liked Bakugou's orange hair.'

'I know right! That guy could pull off anything.' Sero agrees, watching as Bakugou's facial expression shifts into one of disgust from remembering his awful hair colour. 'I'm kinda jealous actually.'

'But overall, I'm glad we have our real Bakugou back.' Kirishima adds, smiling widely at his friend. Bakugou's face goes a bright red and he sends a blast in Kirishima's direction.

A few weeks had passed since Midoriya's amnesia had been re-diagnosed and no one had seen Midoriya since. That is, other then Todoroki and the teachers. Rumours had went around saying that Midoriya had remembered everything and couldn't face everyone.

But, Bakugou knew that was just a rumour. Todoroki wouldn't be so relaxed if it wasn't. So, there wasn't much to worry over. Yet, Midoriya was constantly crossing Bakugou's mind - he couldn't seem to get rid of him.

Kirishima noticed Bakugou's silence and tapped him on the shoulder, making the blonde haired boy look over at him. 'You good bro? You just kinda spaced out on us.'

Bakugou grumbles a low 'yes' and turns his attention back to his food, shoving a piece of spicy chicken into his mouth.

• • •

Midoriya sat perched on his window sill, looking out at the busy city below. After he had fainted, the school and Inko decided it would be best for him to move back home for a while to adjust.

Although Midoriya did protest this at first and assured them that he'd be okay, he eventually gave in due to his mother appearing so sad. He couldn't imagine how she must be hurting. Her only child has decided to wipe his memory of life so far, including her. It wouldn't exactly be the easiest thing as a single mum.

Most nights, Inko would tell Midoriya stories of when he was a kid. She'd talk about his love for heroes and how they'd play games, him playing hero in his All Might onesie. Midoriya would smile softly as she recounted these memories he didn't share any longer. Despite not remembering, his heart would pang with sadness - almost as though there was something more to these stories.

Majority of his days were now spent by his window, in the exact same chair he finds himself placed in now. His brain would work continuously, trying desperately to remember something. He wanted to know why his past self chose this, what was so bad that he wished to restart?

But, there was no answer. Only an empty space remained, like a loading cursor on a computer that never stops spinning. Part of him wants to scream, it feels like everything is right there - all those memories of his loved ones is just slightly out of reach. But, whenever his fingertips would graze them, his mind would panic and shut down, refusing to unlock what he so desperately wishes to see.

Todoroki had been visiting everyday. He'd come and sit with Midoriya in his room. They'd sometimes play board games and for a moment, Midoriya would forget about everything. He'd forget about the stress of remembering and the hurt in his loved ones eyes.

He'd forget about how much he hated his past self for putting him in this position. He almost felt like a child, like his old self was watching over him, mocking his suffering. There was so much he wanted to know, but if he did - would he regret it?

He couldn't understand what made him shut down, what made him so hurt and so lost. Why wouldn't he appreciate his family, his friends? Why wouldn't he wanted to remember his dream, his role model, his life?

These were all questions he'd never know the answers to. So instead, he'd watch the life drifting by outside the window, secretly envying everyone with a memory.

Sometimes realising this would overthrow his stability. Last week he'd been at his limit. He was so tired of feeling empty, of feeling useless. With his mind racing and heart thudding in his chest, Midoriya had smashed his chair against the wall, destroying it until it was beyond repair.

Luckily, Todoroki had just arrived for his visit. The sounds of Midoriya's screams and the banging terrified him. Todoroki sprinted to Midoriya's room, slamming open the door and looked around wide-eyed.

On the floor, next to the chair was Midoriya; hunched over and quiet, tears dripping down his redden cheeks. Without a word, Todoroki approaches him and engulfed him in a hug.

There was no words between the two, Todoroki didn't demand an explanation as he knew Midoriya wasn't in the state to give him one. Instead, he saved his questions of concern for later, entirely focusing upon Midoriya for now.

An explanation never came and Todoroki didn't have the heart to push. That night he cleaned the few scratches Midoriya had gained and helped remove some splinters that were embedded in the boy's fist.

Afterwards, he bid Midoriya goodbye and left. Although he did wish to stay, he knew Midoriya needed to be a alone at that moment - his headspace was too jumbled to even consider communicating.

The next night Todoroki had returned and Midoriya was a completely different person. It almost made Todoroki second guess if he'd just imagined the whole scenario. But, the bandaids on Midoriya's skin and few bruises said otherwise - confirming that everything had happened.

There was something unnerving about this though. It made Todoroki wonder whether Midoriya had tried to deal with all these breakdowns alone. Not just this Midoriya, but the past one too.

Was he really broken all along?