Clemency. ✓

38

Beyoncé Knowles,

It's been a little over a month.

And I'm not doing too great with my mental. Ever since the night Shawn and I got into it, he, surprisingly, hasn't tried to look for me or contact me. He didn't even go back to the house to get his things. Seems like Dria has been the only one in contact. I haven't bothered to ask her how he is just like he hasn't bothered to ask me who I've been.

Ever since, I've moved into my own penthouse apartment that only my girls, Solange and parents know about. I don't want any negative energy from anyone until I can get myself together. It's going to take some time. This is the worse I've felt and I never would've thought I'd feel this hurt over a nigga, but again....I didn't fucking listen to him. This is all on me in a way and I'll forever blame myself for the way I feel.

Lauren told me what happened between him and Ermias. They both ended up being arrested, but bailed out the next morning. One by Lauren and the other by Lori. I was not surprised to see it. From what I've been seeingall over my timeline, he's been staying with Lori and Shai ever since he's gotten out. She's been spoiling the hell out of him too. That's how I knew he wasn't coming back home. He's still has a job so that only helps his cause.

"I brought foooodddd." Lauren dragged coming into my place with bags of Chinese food.

"Yessss." I groaned, meeting her at the counter with Nicki. "Wassup with you two?"

"Nothing much. What about you, babe?"

"I'm alright." I shrugged, already getting ready to devour my Lo Mein.

"Still haven't talked to Shawn?" Nicki asked.

"Hell no. I don't wanna talk to him."

"Yes, you do. You know you wanna hear him out." She said.

I rolled my eyes at how right she was.

"I don't wanna fucking see him." I told her.

"Stop forcing it on, Nicki. Please." Lauren said.

"What? Why you so mad?" She asked.

"I'm not fucking mad, but he did break up me and my fucking boyfriend over some shit that didn't really matter at the time." She spat.

"Shouldn't have fucked him." Nicki mumbled.

Lauren threw a glare at her, then went back to eating her food.

"I just want my nigga back." She whined.

Hell, me too. I know my worth though.

"Meek is throwing a party tonight. He should be there. Just go." She said. "Bey, you coming?"

"Fuck no. Y'all have fun."

"Yes. It's Meek's party. Not Shawn's. You need a drink. Both of y'all." She said. "It's been a fucking mouth and you haven't done anything but stay cooped up in here drowning in misery. You're going, so be ready by 7. Both of y'all and I will drag y'all up out of this bitch."

——

"Wow. I'm so excited." Lori shrieked. "My own home."

"Yeah, this is dope." I chuckled looking at all the room she had for the kids to play. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. I appreciate you helping me move in."

"Yeah, no problem." I told her.

"I'm proud of you, baby girl." Marjorie said. "I know it feels great to buy a home you know your kids will be able to come home to and feel safe."