the secret » david dobrik au

T E N

"Good morning, Evangeline," David smiled as I walked into the living room. It was almost noon, and he was sitting on the couch with an empty bowl in his lap. I had just woken up. Apparently, crying your eyes out and trying to kill yourself can take a lot out of you.

"I thought you left," I admitted, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge. Corinna and Natalie bought it for their mixed drinks since none of us really drank orange juice on its own, but sometimes, you needed something with a distinct flavor to ground you.

"I told you I wasn't leaving you."

I stared at him while I drank my juice, waiting for him to ask. I knew it was coming, and honestly this whole "I'm staying with you all the time to make sure you don't kill yourself" wouldn't be possible if he didn't even know why. So I waited.

He brought it up subtly as I was washing out my empty cup. He asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

We stared at each other for a second. He wasn't giving up. I sighed, putting the cup back in the cabinet and going to sit on the couch, a few feet away from him. I held up my phone to him to show him the background and said, "Those are my siblings."

"They're cute," he smiled softly, turning his attention back to me. "What are their names?"

"The boy is Simon, and the girl is Maddie," I told him. "My mom... well, my mom used to be a good mom. She was good, and then my dad left. It rocked her world. She started drinking a lot, and she didn't really care about us. It was fine, though, because I was thirteen when he left, so I started taking care of them."

"That makes a lot of sense," David said. "You cook for all of us. You act like a mom."

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged, picking off my toenail polish instead of looking at him. "My mom just stopped getting up, pretty much. She'd stay in her room all day. She worked from home, and I know she did the work because we always had money for groceries and stuff, but that's really all she did. She only left to go get alcohol."

I took a deep breath, getting nervous about sharing the rest. An alcoholic mother wasn't that crazy on the scale of how fucked up is my family?, but the next part most definitely was.

"You can take your time, Ev," he reassured me, his hand reaching out to sit just above my knee. It wasn't in any way creepy or sexual; it was only soothing.

"Um... when I was sixteen, I took Simon to go get this video game he wanted at the store. It was supposed to be quick, but we ended up at the mall and... he was nine, you know. He gets distracted. When we got back, my aunt Lydia was on the front porch of our house crying. They had been calling me, but my phone was dead. My mom... something happened, I don't know. She apparently had some kind of psychotic break," I sighed, feeling the tears pricking my eyes. "My sister was only thirteen. She was trying to fight her off, but my mom stabbed her eight times. She stabbed my sister, and she killed herself."

"Holy fuck," David's jaw was dropped.

"If I would've been there..."

"Don't do that to yourself," David grabbed my legs and easily slid me over so I was on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, and my head fell on his shoulder. "You could've never known that would happen."

"But if I had just been there, Maddie wouldn't have had to fight her. It would've been me," I wiped the tears that were once again falling down my face. I didn't even know my body could produce that many. "She must've been so scared, you know? She was probably yelling for me. That's what hurts me most. She probably was asking for my help, and I wasn't even there."

"That's completely out of your control," he sighed into my hair. "You are quite possibly the strongest person I've ever met, Evan. I seriously mean that."

"I mean, thank you, but I also tried to kill myself last night, so that might dock me a little bit."

"Never," he laughed, letting me go a little so I could look at him. "Listen, I know this isn't easy for you, but I want to show you. I want to show you that fucked up shit happens, but life is still worth living."

There was no other way around it. I either snuck away from David somehow and killed myself, or I let him try to help me.

It wasn't a difficult choice.

"Okay."

"Good. Go take a shower and get ready. I'll have lunch for you when you come out," David released his grip so I could get off his lap.

"Where are we going?" I frowned in confusion.

"That's a surprise," he smiled. "Go! I need time to cook. I'm not a chef like you."

I tried to hide my smile, but it was useless. David was the first person to ever know exactly what happened in my family, and he didn't seem to hate me for it. I always assumed that everyone would treat me the way I treat myself if they knew, but he didn't. He was still acting the same, if not a little softer, with me.

So I listened to him. I took a long, hot shower to cleanse myself of the memories from the night before, then blowdried my hair and tied it up in a ponytail. I put on a pink and white striped shirt with some high waisted mom shorts and my white converse.

David was waiting for me on a barstool at the kitchen counter, with two plates in front of him. The "lunch" he needed time to cook was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with grapes and colored goldfish. It was sweet. I sat down next to him, mumbling "thank you" as I started to eat.

"Are you excited for today?"

"Kind of," I shrugged, trying to seem upbeat so he wouldn't be upset with me. "I wish I knew what we were doing. I hate surprises."

"A surprise every now and then is good for the soul, Evan," he patted me on the shoulder. "I wouldn't do anything bad, I promise."

I finished my sandwich and my grapes, letting David eat the green colored goldfish since they were my least favorite. He argued with me that they were all the same flavor, so we did a blind taste test.

"That's obviously purple," I said after he dropped a few in my mouth.

"You're a witch. They all taste exactly the same to me."

"You have weak tastebuds," I laughed, cleaning up the plates for us. I looked at him and said, "Let's go if we're gonna go."

We were an unlikely pair of friends. He was way too cool and normal to stick around me. I was shy and nervous and quiet. Even our nights together didn't prepare me for a full day with him.

But I was willing to try. That was the only way out, it seemed. I had to try.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone you love and your doctor!!!

If you ever need someone to talk to, message me!! I'm not the best at messaging because i'm not on my phone a lot, but i promise i will try. Dont give up<333

I love yall!!!

Xoxo abby