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T W E N T Y - E I G H T

Corinna placed her hand lovingly on my forehead and smiled down at me like a mother would to a sick child. "Do you need anything else before I go to bed?"

"I'm fine," I told her, and only when she shut the door did I let myself cry.

It was quite possibly the worst night of my life. I was so annoyed with David and with myself for letting the situation escalate. I didn't even like dances or fancy shit like that. The only reason I went was to make David happy, and I still messed that up. All I had to do was pretend to be happy for maybe three hours max, but I disappointed him.

I think the guilty feeling was even worse than my anger over Madison. Truthfully, now that my head was a little clearer, I could see that he hadn't meant any harm by dancing with Madison, just as I hadn't meant any harm dancing with Jeff.

(Except I kind of did mean a little harm. I just never thought he would blow it that far out of proportion.)

I went to bed crying and woke up sticky and hot and sad and mad. It was pretty early, especially for me, and I knew that the girls that had been drinking all day would be out like a light. I took a long, hot shower and tried to hide the fact that I had been crying all night with some makeup and a good vibes playlist I found on Spotify. I was too exhausted to eat, so yogurt was my next best option. I waited to see who would wake up first.

It was Todd. I had just came in the living room and curled up in a ball on the couch watching Spongebob when he opened Natalie's bedroom door, quiet as a mouse, and shut it just as quietly. He smiled at me when he saw me, "Hey. You feelin' okay?"

"No," I answered honestly, not elaborating. I really didn't want to tell him that it was my heart that hurt, not my head, and that I couldn't even handle one tiny fight without freaking out about everyone in my life leaving me. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"Jesus, I love you, but I'll let you keep sleeping," he patted the top of my head with a warm smile. "I'll probably see you tonight. If I see David, you want me to tell him to come over here?"

"Um," I thought for a moment. Technically, it was better to face the damage sooner rather than later, but I was also really scared. "Well, if he seems really mad, then don't. If he seems like he's gonna yell at me."

"Okay, see you later. And if you make a good dinner, call me so I can come."

"Okay," I laughed, pulling my arm out of my blanket to wave as he disappeared out our front door. Hungover and tired, I fell back asleep pretty quickly and woke up for the second time to the sound of the front door shutting. I turned my body to see David walking in, so I laid back down. He sat on the end of the couch, far away from me.

We sat in silence, only Spongebob's high pitched laugh heard. I finally said, "Did you come all the way over here just to sit there, or are you going to break up with me?"

"Do you want me to break up with you?" he stared at me like I was insane.

I shrugged and stayed quiet.

"Are you fucking serious? You don't even care if we break up right now?" his jaw was dropped like he was shocked. It wasn't a rhetorical question. He stared into my soul, waiting for an answer.

"I do care," I sighed, laying my head on the couch so I didn't have to look at him. "Of course I care. This is all just really new for me. It's scary. I'm scared."

"Come here, babe," he opened his arms up to me, and they were just so inviting and comforting that I couldn't resist. I crawled over to him and climbed into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. "What are you afraid of?"

"No one has ever thought I was good enough," I sniffled, already feeling another round of tears coming. I normally would not be this open about my emotions with anyone, but it seemed like the time to put it all out on the table. "I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone."

"But you're not," he sighed, not in a mean way, and hugged me tighter. "Everyone fucking loves you."

"Not my dad," I shrugged. "Not my mom. Those are the two people who are supposed to love you more than anything, and neither of them cared enough about me to even try. I bet Maddie hates me too."

"That's not true, love," he began softly rubbing a hand up and down my back.

"It could be. We don't know. I should've been there to protect her."

"Ev, you took care of them for years while your mom laid in her bed and did nothing. Maddie knows you cared about her more than anything. You were probably the most important person in her life."

"You know, I used to steal my mom's car and drive to the store," I half laughed at the thought, though it was honestly sad. "When I was like fourteen, I'd just be driving and praying to God that I wouldn't get pulled over. She never even fucking noticed. She never even asked how we were getting food. She probably wouldn't have cared if we starved to death."

"Hey," he squeezed me harder, forcing me to look up at him. "I know that that sucked for you, I do. I know that it was traumatizing and awful and scary. But I love you. I love you, and dancing with fucking Jeff isn't going to change that... no matter how annoying that is."

"You did it first."

"Hey," he warned, but his eyes were dancing with amusement. "I love you, okay? I'm not going to give up on you that easily, so you can stop trying to push me away. It's not going to work."

"So everything is good between us?" I asked, pouting my lip out a bit to make him feel bad for me.

He nodded and said, "If you're good, I'm good."

"I'm good."

"Okay, sweet," he kissed me for the first time since he got to the apartment. "I'm sorry for being a dick last night. I just thought I should add that in there. I know I was a dick, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for using Jeff to make you mad," I finally admitted, a blush forming on my cheeks. "To be fair, he was actually very respectful. He never did anything Todd wouldn't do."

"Yeah, but I had to pull you off of him last time you got drunk," he rolled his eyes as he remembered the black out night when I found out my dad was getting married. "So I'm sorry if I don't trust him all that much."

"We weren't even dating," I mumbled.

"I was fucking in love with you, Evan. And we basically were dating."

"Tell that to Madison on my birthday."

"It's not gonna work," David raised his eyebrows defiantly. "I'm not gonna give up."

"Never?"

"Not unless you really annoy me."

My brothers making dinner and he is so bad at multitasking and im 90% sure its not gonna be done for the next 2 hours so im just gonna cry cuz im HUNGRY

Vote and comment make me feel better

Xoxo abby