the secret » david dobrik au

F O R T Y - F I V E

The good thing about having borderline alcoholic friends is that they always had some kind of alcoholic beverage on deck. The bad part is that they'll always, and I mean always, join in with your heartbreak drinking. The three of us getting blackout drunk on a Tuesday, just a few short weeks before finals, didn't seem like the best idea.

"Why are we drinking this time, Ev?" Corinna held up her glass for us to cheers our mixes of Malibu and pineapple mango juice. "Not in a bad way. Just wanted to know."

"Because David's mom thinks I'm not a burden," I admitted honestly, knocking the drink back though it burned as it went down.

"No one thinks you're a burden."

"Even more reason to drink then!" I smiled, immediately pouring myself another cup. My favorite thing about drinking with the girls is that they never told me to slow down. All of the boys, even Jeff and sometimes Ilya, would look at me like I was insane as I downed cup after cup, but never them.

The end of the night ended the same as all of our girls' nights did: with Corinna crying about how much she loved us and Natalie and I patting her head to calm her down.

This one was a little different, though. I never was a big fan of self control, and I wanted to talk to David. I knew it was wrong, and I know I knew it was wrong, because I lied so I could get out of the room and make the phone call.

I stood abruptly and slipped my phone into my pocket. Both of the girls looked up at me, confused.

"I have to pee," I lied. "I'll be back."

"She just doesn't want us to know she's puking," Corinna whispered to Natalie, then laughed loudly. "Set a timer for ten minutes. We'll go retrieve her."

I rolled my eyes at that, stumbling to the bathroom while dialing David's number. I memorized the number because he wanted to make sure if I was ever stranded without my phone that I could flag someone down to call him. It came in handy now because I deleted his number out of anger during one of my many freak outs.

It rang twice, then I heard shuffling on the other line. "Hello?"

"David," I giggled because I was finally talking to him. It felt like it had been years since I heard him talk to me. "Hiiiii, Davidddddd."

"Are you drunk at ten o'clock on a Tuesday?" he sounded less than amused, which immediately killed my mood.

"Why would you ever possibly even think that?" I cringed after the words left my mouth, knowing that the sentence didn't make much sense. "Why are you being mean to me?"

"I'm not. I don't know why you're calling me, Evan."

Evan was usually his name choice when he was mad at me. I liked Ev or Evangeline or baby much better.

"Because I wanted to talk to you?" I said in a duh tone. "What, I can't talk to you anymore? Is it illegal to talk to you now? Are the cops on the way or something?"

"Evan," he spoke, still unamused. "Don't call me drunk again."

"Why?" I whined, not even worried about being annoying. I was well past annoying.

"Because I don't want to this with you."

"Do what?"

"You know what. You call me and act like things are different, and then we both end up disappointed. I don't want to do it with you. I'm not doing it with you. Don't call me again."

I heard the three beeps that meant he hung up on me, and my heart sunk in my chest. Up until then, I had had a sliver of hope. I shouldn't have been holding onto it, but I was. I just always thought we'd get back together. The fact that he wouldn't even talk to me drunk, the time when we could both say anything and not have to own up to it tomorrow, just proved to me that we were really done.

I couldn't have the girls knowing I had just drunk called my ex on a girls' night, so I pretended I had puked when I joined them again. That was easier to explain.

The next day was a nightmare because I remembered it all. It was embarrassing that I was the only one that still cared. The only one that got drunk and wondered what he was doing. The only one who still got upset thinking about him. That sucked. That was bad.

I didn't text him the next morning or apologize or anything. I figured it was better to act like I didn't remember it; dealing with it was a bit too much for my poor little brain to handle.

I just couldn't believe it was really over. The semester was quickly coming to a close. I was going to move back home without ever talking to David. It was weird, knowing I had to move on.

Because of these thoughts that I didn't want to think, I forced myself to study. I dedicated myself to my school work like I hadn't before. Finals were just two weeks away when I decided to treat myself with a frozen coffee from the place on campus. They were too expensive for me to get every day, but they were so good.

I was waiting in line when I spotted a familiar hair do.

"...Alyssa?"

She turned around, her baby belly now massive and a scowl on her face. "Oh. It's you."

"What are you doing on campus?"

"Visiting David before I have the baby. I'm getting induced the day he has two finals, so," she placed her hand on her belly. "Why did you break his heart?"

My breath caught in my chest, and tears quickly pooled in my waterline. I told myself over and over again that I wouldn't let her make me cry again. That was just how she acted. She didn't mean it in a bad way. "What?"

"Why did you break David's heart? I thought you were supposed to be perfect, so you had to have a good reason. Why'd you do it?" she was taunting me, and it was working.

"I didn't mean to," the words left my mouth so quietly that I could barely hear them. "I'm not perfect."

"Clearly," she raised her eyebrows like she was talking to a complete idiot. "See you never, Evangeline."

She said my name as if it disgusted her. I left before they called the name for my order. I didn't need the coffee that bad.

Do yall ever sit around and think welllll if i had worded that statement differently then maybe he wouldve answered differently and then he wouldve cared and we wouldve fallen in love and gotten married and my idea that we are soulmates wont seem crazy anymore ??? Or am i just a different level of crazy

Xoxo abby