𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕪 ~ 𝕂𝕒𝕚 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕣

𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖

I had been convinced into helping with the plan for helping Caroline, they'd locked the three of us into a B&B room, I lay there on one of the couches as she was trying to break the bars on the window, to be honest I wasn't really in the mood to help with the plan, I was trying to deal with the fact I murdered people and lost my boyfriend but Caroline was my best friend so I just had to.

"Why are you so calm? Help me." She says as we both turn to her, "Because we already tried. You're wasting your energy." Stefan says and I nod. "Ugh. Every move I make feels like sandpaper rubbing against my veins." She groans, "They're drying us out. First they drain our blood, then they starve us." I had a headache so I drowned them out.

"Knock, knock." Elena calls making me roll my eyes, "Elena. Let me guess... Humanity police was your idea." Elena lifts the barricade thing so that we could see her "We really want you back, Caroline." She says making Caroline scoff, "Remember that time Jeremy died and you turned off your humanity and tried to kill the prom queen, aka your best friend Bonnie? I forget. Stefan, was that before or after she killed some waitress for no reason?" She says making Elena tense, "I think it was after." Stefan supplies making Caroline chuckle, "Heh. You see, the three of us are just finding it a little ironic that you think you're qualified to tell us how to deal with the death of a loved one." Caroline says, "I'm not here to preach to you, Caroline. I just came to show you this. This letter from your mom arrived at our dorm just a few days after her funeral. Apparently there was something she wanted to tell you." Elena says sliding it over to Stefan, I sit up intrigued, I didn't know that they had this letter, the letter looked unopened making me worry, I hoped that they made a copy.

"Does this look real to you?Her impeccably perfect handwriting? Yep. I remember when she taught me how to write my name in cursive." She says and it seems like it's getting to her but she looks up at us, "So what, am I supposed to read this and snap back to sad, pathetic, motherless Caroline? Burn it." She says making me panic a bit, "What?" Stefan asks obviously shocked. "Did I say, 'stand there and look stupid'? No. I said, 'burn it.'" She says "Well, maybe I should read it first." He says making me roll my eyes, he was being painfully obvious, "Why do you care?" She asks him confused, "I mean, what happens if eventually you get your humanity back and you hate me for destroying the last thing your mom wanted to say to you?" I didn't think that he could've gotten any more obvious but he actually did, "Did those words seriously just come out of your mouth? God! Burn it! Now!" She yells lighting a match. "Jesus Christ Stefan she wants the letter destroyed it's not hard." I snap reaching forward and ripping it in half and then once more, knowing that we could at least tape it back together.

"Thank you but I asked Stefan to burn it." She says holding the match out to him. "Stefan, don't! No!" Elena yells from the other side letting me know that they hadn't made a copy. "Sorry, Elena, but if you want us back, you're gonna have to try a lot harder than that." Stefan says before dropping the match. I quickly try and stomp it out not even caring if my cover was blown, I couldn't let that letter be destroyed.

Caroline grabs me to stop me. "What are you doing?" She asks and I sigh, "I flipped my switch already, they just won't let me out because they don't believe me." I say before snapping Stefan's neck first so she would think he was still on team non humanity and then hers. I go to reach for the letter but it was too late it was burnt to ash.

They let me out knowing it would've been useless to keep me there now, "well you look like crap," Damon tries to joke with me as I leave the room, I glare at him and make a move to walk past him, "what do you want from me?" I ask him weakly as he grabs my arm to stop me. "I'm sorry about Kai, but you can't ignore me forever." He says and I just give him a blank look, "I'm done Damon I can't do this anymore, I can't forgive you, no matter how many bad things you guys have done I've always forgiven you, I forgave you the first time you planned to kill my boyfriend but I can't forgive you this time, I thought you would've learned but I guess I thought wrong." I tell him ignoring Elena behind him.

"It's not even just about Kai anymore, I never even wanted to be a vampire and I vowed that I would never kill anyone, but I did and I don't know if I can live with that guilt, I'm not cut out to be a vampire and I'm never gonna be truly happy. All I have to look forward to is an eternity alone, I can't stay here with you guys when you have a blatant disregard for me or my happiness." He looks at me in regret, "Thea." I shake my head, "I turned my humanity on Damon but I don't feel anything, I don't want to be here anymore, I can't, I shouldn't have transitioned I should've died like I was supposed to." I tell him making his eyes water. I pull my daylight ring off and put it in his hand. "I'm going to kill myself because that's what I deserve, you can try and stop me and lock me up but I won't drink any of the blood you give me, I'll just desiccate and be a corpse in your basement in constant agony, at least if I die I know that since the other side went down I won't get trapped there again." I tell him making a move to stand in the sunlight.

"Thea no!" Elena shouts.

I wake up back in the cell in the salvatore basement beside Caroline who was crying.

After she calms down she looks at me, "you promised you weren't going to kill yourself." She says to me hurt and angry, "I don't want to live anymore." I tell her plainly, "Thea what's wrong?" She asks, "I can't stop thinking about those boys that I killed." I tell her, "they had families hopes, dreams and I tore that from them like a monster." I whisper thinking about them. "Thea please don't do this." She begs, "Caroline I can't stay here and I can't move away I'm stuck, so unless you want to desiccate me and put me in a coffin there's not much you can do." I shrug.

"Is this because of Kai?" She asks and I shake my head, "I think that I loved Kai but it's not just because of him." I tell her. "Thea I just lost my mom I can't loose you too not again, please don't leave me." She cries,  I start to feel really bad and guilty, "ok I won't Caroline I won't leave you, I'll stay." I whisper pulling her into a hug. "How long have I been out?" I ask rubbing my neck, "two weeks." I look at her in shock, "two whole weeks?" I ask in shock it had felt like barely anytime had passed. "Bonnie spelled you, but Elena Stefan and I are breaking you out." She tells me excited.

"Ok we got it!" Elena shouts running into the room waving the ascendant around, Stefan right behind her, I look at them in confusion, "what are you doing?" I ask as they come over to me. "I know that you don't think that I care about you Thea, but I do, and this is the only way I could think of showing you, I love you Thea more than anything and I can't lose you again so here." She says holding the ascendant out to me, I take it carefully and look at her in disbelief, "and here is a vial of Bonnie's blood, this should be enough for a trip there and back." Stefan says holding it out to me, "you're like a sister to me Thea, I can't lose you either." He says pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." I tell them, "don't be sorry Thea we love you and would do anything for you, I know that I haven't done a good job at showing it before but I will from now on I promise." Elena says wiping the tear that rolls down my cheek. "I can't believe that I was so selfish." They all shake their heads at me, "don't think about that now, you've got to go before anyone tries to stop you." Stefan instructs. I nod, "I called Klaus and asked for a favour so go to New Orleans." Caroline says as she hands me my car keys.

I hug them all before making my way to the door, I stop at the sight of the person in front of me, "Damon." Stefan takes a step forward, "ah calm down brother," he smirks before looking at me, I clutch the ascendant as hard as I can, if he wanted it then he would have to pry it from my cold dead hands. "Calm down T, go and get your weasel." He smiles handing me one of the Polaroid's of Kai and I.

I smile gratefully at him and he nods ruffling my hair, "I'm sorry." He tells me sincerely and I nod, "it's in the past." I say as he hugs me, "ok now go because Bon Bon is on her way and she won't let you leave if she makes it." I nod and then run for my car.