Title: Pain
Author: anuvashah
Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys
Cover: 3/5
The cover is not bad. I would have liked, perhaps, if you had an ominous person in the corners almost faded so it gives you that eerie feeling.
Summary: 5/5
Your summary was fascinating, it piques my interest in the story, and I generally want to know more.
Spelling, Vocabulary + Grammar: 4/15
So your most significant problem I noticed was the punctuation in dialogue. You seemed to know when dialogue called for a question mark and exclamation mark; however, there was no punctuation present when you needed a full stop or a comma.
Dialogue requires a comma when a dialogue tag is used. A dialogue tag is phrases such as "I reply, he said, she whispers" and does not need to be capitalised.
Dialogue requires a full stop when action follows, and the first word after the dialogue must be capitalised.
If you need more information I have a chapter in my "Senpai, I have a question..." dedicated to dialogue and so does ray_of_sunshine9 in her book "101 Writing Tips from an Exhausted Reviewer".
"There is pain that is quite noiseless, MAKING human agonies a mere whisper in a hurrying existence." [Prologue]
"...robberies that leave MEN AND WOMEN FOREVER beggared of peace and joy..." [Prologue]
"...its edges are brimmed with hurt and pain, but if you dive deep enough, you will come upon a place where all you can feel is love." [Prologue]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Look out of the window," says my mother..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "It's so beautiful." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "When are we reaching," whines John..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Five minutes more," says my dad..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "What are you talking about?" asks John..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Yes," he replies." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "I didn't," he says..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "It belonged to our ancestors." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Turns out our relatives are super rich," says Nick. [New Town]
"Plus it was on top..." [New Town]
"I didn't have to think before I answered that question..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "This is how every creepy movie starts." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Go out there and help your mother," says my father..." [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "I am just saying, John wouldn't be able to sleep alone tonight," [New Town]
Missing ending punctuation in the dialogue "Oh that's okay. I love ghosts," says John, "it's my new year's resolution." [New Town]
YOU ARE READING
Sapphire's Review Store 3.0
Non-FictionSince both our first and second review stores have exceeded 200 chapters (with a grand total of 379 reviews published), I am opening up this third book to fit in all of our future reviews. Yay team! We are still OPEN to requests, however, this book...
