𝐷𝐸𝑉𝑂𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁.

10.

Listen to- who hurt you- Daniel Caesar to feel the moment.
Risa pov-

Me and Jay have been spending almost ever second of the day together. I sneak out and spend the night at his house or he would do the same. We would stay up all night and just talk. Right now we were at his house just vibing and talk on the roof.

"What do you think love means." Jay snaps me out my thoughts.

"Love has many different meanings, it's like you can't get enough of someone, it's like-." He cuts me off giving me more time to think.

"It's like a strange addiction." He focuses his attention on me more. Which I had no problem with because he pays attention to me. I'll take all the attention I can get.

"Ya basically a strange addiction." We were silent for some more moments but it was a comfortable silence. It's crazy to think me and jay had only met a few months ago and we grew this close.

"Who hurt you." Jay speaks up once again.

"You should already know this jay." I turn to look at him wondering why he would ask that questions. Jay already knew the story so he should already know the answer.

"No not like that ma, who HURT you." He put more emphasis on 'hurt' this time giving me more understanding.

"Hurd you, who hurt me was the people who left knowing I was in bad times, it's like they didn't care I was on the ground they were fine cause they all got to stand." He nods his head taking in the information.

"Which is also why I'm scared to get attached, scared of pain, scared of getting hurt and hurt over again." I let everything out. I never knew I had this much bottled up inside but it all comes out when I'm with him.

When I'm with him.

"It's call trial and error ma, maybe shit was meant to be but it wasn't meant to last." When that came out his mouth it triggered something in me causing me to think deeper.

"Wasn't meant to last..." I repeated him.

"I learned that after being fucked over and cheated on multiple times." I never heard about him getting cheated on. Jay was like a mystery and it takes a while for him to open up. "Shit I even fell in love once."

"And I fell hard that girl had me wrapped around her finger like a ring pop, I never wanted to let go but she was toxic for me." I look at him for him to continue on.

"My mom would just hug me tight and say I gotchu cause I relied on that girl for fucking happiness and she did me dirty. My mama was the only female I trusted besides Jiz." I nod taking in all the information he just told me. Jay is the type of person to hide a lot of the shit he goes through

"I feel you, after that incident I didn't trust any nigga around me it took me a minute to get used to it again, and it took me a while to get use to the fact that it wasn't my fault."

"Yea cause it wasn't your fault at all, you respected yourself enough and he didn't respect you." Jay wiped the tear I didn't even know was coming down my face.

"I'm scared to love again." I say in a whisper voice. Jay takes notice and study's my face for a moment.

I loved when he did that it's like he's all about me and he reads me like a book.

"I feel broke Inside jay." My voice starts to crack a little.

"No one is truly broken, it's just you got ya pieces in the wrong spot."

"Ohhh so I'm a mess." He chuckles a little bit and shakes his head.

"Your not a mess mamas, and shit if you are your a beautiful one." I smile a little at his remark. This boy knew how to make me smile in the right moments.

"Also if your a mess lemme clean it up." I look at him confused not understanding what this nigga meant. I'm slow but the shit he just said had me more lost than ever.

"What nigga." The pitch changed in my voice a little bit. After being silent for a few minutes I start to zone out in my own thoughts.

"Amerisa."

"Hmm." I bring my focus back to Jay slowly. Jay started to look like he was shaking a little bit.

"Why you nervous pa?" I ask him.

"Amerisa I can't go days without thinking about you and it kills me dawg that shit kills me cause I get so scared bro. But it kills me cause ion even want another nigga thinking you single for a minute." He pauses for a few moments.

"Everything about you bro, ya smile, ya cute ass, your fucking eyes oh my godddd they're just beautiful. How you care for people or how you take time to notice little shit. How you got your fucking priorities straight and aye your classy but you will turn up on a bitch or nigga if needed. You don't be on that fake shit you hate being up in the mix. Your mindset is on money and chasing that bag. Niggas hit on you all the time and you take a second out of ur fucking time to pay them any mind and you know what." He finishes after rambling for about a minute or two.

"Whaaa."

"That's my type of girl." I raise my eyebrows a little at his response.

"Oh really." I smirk a little giving him a look. He chuckles and hangs his head down.

"Yes really dumbass." I mug him a little while he rolls his eyes. I wave my hand at him a bit paying no mind to him.

"Listen girl, I really fucking like you." I feel my cheeks heat up but I try to hide it  a little by putting my head down.

"Don't blush ma." He picks my head up a little. He brings my face to his before pecking it a little bit. I feel sun on my face, damn I didn't even know we was talking for that long. The birds started to chirp a little making the moment peaceful.

"I want you Risa." He whispers not making the space between us any closer.

"I want you too jay." I finally speak up.

"Then be mines."

"Bet."
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Ighttt now the book really starting 😈.