𝐷𝐸𝑉𝑂𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁.

21.

Jay pov-

"Jay calm down your gonna get her back, y'all had a connection and I could feel it." I was in the room with the boys close to having a panic attack over Risa leaving me.

"Nah she not, I fucked up I stood there silent like a dumbass. She ain't coming back." Gunna rubbed my back knowing I was seconds away from a panic attack.

"Jay-."

"Nah fuck that she tried to fix shit and i just stood there, stood there like I ain't know how to speak English and shit." I put my head in my hands and started rapidly breathing in and out.

"Ayeee jay calm down shits gonna be alright." Glizz now came in rubbing my back.

"I'm tired of hearing that it's gonna be alright shit, y'all not gonna sit here and say the same shit over and over again thinking it's gon calm me down." Tooda put his hands up and groaned loudly.

"See Jay this your problem, we out here tryna help you nigga and your being stubborn and pushing us away. Call us when u ready for help." Tooda and Glizz and amari walked out the room leaving me and Gunna.

"We saying it cause we mean it brodie." He rubbed my back one last time before leaving the room with the rest.

It's something about her, just something special that I can't stand to see with another nigga. I can't lose this one, everyone else ion care about just this one is mine and I can't fucking lose it easy like that.

Not only did I fuck up with Risa
I fucked up with Jiz
The two people I knew had me the most

"I fucked up." I buried my face deepier into my hands like my face was finna pop out somewhere new.

"My sister, my wife I lost them both." I grabbed something near me and threw it at the wall.

"Aye since u mad at sum, don't be slamming shit into the walls around my house." Risa mom yelled from the downstairs.

"I need her, I-."

Ion love her do I?
It's too quick to be loving her like that.

"Maneee what's wrong brodie." Jordan and Jayden walked into the room obviously aggravated with the banging.

"Risa broke up with me." They both looked shocked not knowing that was finna be the answer.

"Oh shit I thought u got her pregnant."

"Or she wouldn't let u fuck or sum shit."

"Nah she left, and she ain't coming back either dawg."

"First off get out of that depressed ass mindset cause it's not finna take you anywhere."I lifted my head up at them so I could hear them better.

"If you felt like it was truly real, it's gon come back." Jayden finally spoke up after processing all this shit.

"Ok but why did y'all break up." I took a big ass breath before explaining everything to them. They both look at me like I'm a dumbass before speaking again.

"Nigga you can't just stay silent."

"Facts like female take silence as yes you can't do thattttt I learned that shit the hard way."

"Wit that shorty jamyah? When she asked if u was gon pay child support and u just stayed quiet."

"Exactly now look at me, paying off child support-."

"Not the point but fam, y'all gon be ight my sister is happy with you, idk but I think she loves you dawg." He patted my shoulder like I was his student or sum shit.

"But questions is, do you love her." I thought about it for a moment.

"Ion even know tbh."

"Ight how do you feel when ur with her." When I'm with Risa it's like the world is heaven and I never wanna leave.

"Mane, she's like a blunt to me, bad way of saying it but like she calms me down, she makes me laugh, she makes me calm down I feel open with her. Like I want to have a future with her whenever she's mad at me it feels like years and she's like my everything dawg, she on my mind 24/7 I can't go to sleep cause she be on my mind she make me simp like a bitch bro. Her smile, her laugh everything about her I can replay it a million times and never get tired of it-."

"Damn nigga, you got a lot on ur plateee."

"Too much dip on ur chip." Jordan scrunched up his face and started moving around like a crackhead.

They definitely Risa's brothers

"We gon give you some time to think." I nodded and watched them to make sure they closed the door all the way.

"Do I love her?"

*flashback*

"Hello stranger, it's been a minute since we last kicked it." We stared into each other eyes forgetting about everything around us.

"Ion usually do this often." She singed back to me while I grabbed her cheek.

The moment was perfect, I felt something I ain't never felt. Her eyes had a sparkle in it and Ian never wanted to look away. She really had a good nigga going soft.

"Baby I wonder." I took the chance and kissed her slowly. We kept going until the moment was ruined by her older sister telling her, her parents were here. I left and before I did I gave her one last peck.

"Baby I wonder." I mumbled to myself.

I wanted her.

*present*

"Our first kiss, the moment I realized the feelings I had for her." I smiled to myself thinking bout the thought of us connecting for the first time.

That moment made me feel like I got shot in the stomach
But like in a good way
Ya feel me?
It felt like a million butterflies in my stomach when that happened.

"Come on Jay, what you like bout her." I was dead talking to myself in the room like someone was hear listening.

Her smile
Her personality
How she's goofy
How she cares
How she notices the little things
How she has a good heart
How she acts like a little kid
When she laughs she has a ugly one and it's cute
Her big ass forehead, edges ain't covering up shit
Short ass cute ass height
Fine ass smile with the dimples
Everything bout her
Her voice
I crave her
The touch itself could calm me down
Looking at her calms me
Hearing her calms me down
She's the one I want
The one I want to marry....

"One more thing, love got no timing, it comes when it comes." Jordan popped into the room then popped right back.

He's right
I'm scared to fall in love again
But for her imma take that chance
I can't see her happy with another nigga
Or her and that nigga dying

"I love her."
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Bout the five chapters 👉🏽👈🏽 here's two but the other three ain't uploading sooo you'll get them later on💙
Thank you for reading and vote plz!!
You think jay and Risa finna get back together?
Is jay wrong for what he did?
Is Risa wrong for jumping to conclusions?
Find out next onnnn mind yo bus- I'm playing find out next in the next chapter byeee - Authorrr💙

OHHHH and ignore all mistakes I haven't been in school in a min so👉🏽👈🏽 now bye my loves💙