Infinity||H.S.

The Calm

"And if, you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)"

Noelle

I've tried on wedding dresses and it was the most stressful thing I've ever done.

I was with Mae and Hannah in the shop on Oxford Street where I saw the dresses I want them to wear for the wedding and they lure me into trying on one or two of the thousand bride dresses of the shop.

It'll be fun they said.

It was a total disaster.

While the both of them were simply beautiful in the bordeaux long dresses I picked out, I looked like a big white meringue with frosting on top.

Don't get me wrong, the dresses were very pretty, Mae and Hannah made me try on different types to see what style I liked the most, but I couldn't see myself in any of them.

The princess style was too "Princess".
The mermaid style was too tight
Imperial style? No, thank you.

Therefore, I came out of the shop with the mood under my feet.
Part of thought me that it would have been simple to find the perfect dress, I'm not one to complain very much, but clearly, I thought wrong.
And now I'm panicking, replaying no stop in my head all the times I heard someone tell me "you are behind schedule with the preparations. The bride must begin to look for the dress at least one year before the wedding. Not three months prior".

What if I don't find the dress?
Why can't I put on something from my wardrobe? Who cares if it's not white and bridal style.

Thomas' mother cares, she'd have a stroke if I'll walk down the aisle in jeans, t-shirt and combat boot. My dad, on the other hand, would probably laugh his lugs out.

I still think Vegas is the better choice.

Anyway, Mae and Hannah spent the night at my loft, and we ended up eating Chinese food on my couch drinking wine - Hannah and I, Mae drank diet coke - and smoking a joint Hannah bought to relax a bit.

Yes, I let my sister have a few drags... She is almost sixteen. Who didn't try at her age? And better off with Hannah and me than with a stranger, or her dumb friends.

In addition to the dress search stress, in the last week, it seemed to go all wrong.
Carter was on my case for the Met Gala menu and some other stuff regarding the Catering.
Luanne was on my case with flowers restaurants venues and place holders choices.
I started the masterclasses and let me tell you, I've never seen a bunch of incompetent quite like the one who's taking the course. One of them nearly cut his fingers, two times in the lack of five minutes.

They really put my patience to test.

Above all this, I received a call from Bill, the master-builder of the works at the restaurant, telling me that there was a problem with a gas pipe in the kitchen and that they had to open a hole in a load-bearing wall to fix it.

Isn't it great?

On a good note, I finally bought a car. A new, shiny Land Rover Velar, that I paid more than I'd like to care, but hey... Things were going well, thanks to the YouTube sponsors, the book sales, the catering and the tv show -- that finally has been released and had good ratings, so good that the channel's managers called Carter to discuss the details of a second season.

Watching myself on TV was strange at first, but I was definitely proud of myself and more than willing to repeat the experience.

I also bought a punching bag, seeing the stress I was under in the last week and the lack of time to hit the gym, deciding it was a good I idea to have one at home.