Infinity||H.S.

Sugar, We Are Going Down

Oh, I think she said "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business" (it's none of your, it' none of your)
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your, it's none of your"

June 2019

Noelle

Many things can change in a month. Let's make a list of what happened in my life in this time, shall we?

First of all: I cut my hair. One day I woke up and decided I needed to change my style, three hours later my long hair was cut just below my shoulders.

Second: Thomas has finally signed the house contract, so my loft now it's our loft. It felt strange at first, but it would have happened anyway, so why wait?

Third: he put my name on his flat contract and I signed it just before I left New York. Again, it felt a little strange, but it would have happened in a couple of months, so why wait?

I still can't call it home though. It's still Thomas' flat for me.

Fourth: Thomas will officially move to London in October. He will still go back to New York from time to time, and he will spend half of the year around the world, but at least, he will work for a branch of his company here in London.

Fifth: the invitations have arrived. It's all official now.

Sixth: The restaurant is coming out pretty well. Two weeks ago the furniture started arriving and finally, there's running water coming out from every faucet.

Seventh: yesterday Harry came back from Italy and today we are driving in my car to Holmes Chapel, to spend the weekend with our families. No, I didn't take up his offer, no Stevie Nicks for me. We didn't speak much in the last month, he kept sending me text almost every day, but the last album details kept him very busy. Plus, I was kinda annoyed by the way he behaved that day at Kleinfeld - he disappeared while I was changing out of my wedding dress and sent me a simple text saying he had things to do. This time away from him helped me make a decision. I'll face him and ask him what his problem with my wedding is. He either speaks his mind once and for all or he sucks it up and plants a smile on his face.

Before I speak to him I have to resolve a little problem though.

Eighth: I'm nine days late. I didn't get my period yet. I'm freaking out.

One would think she's safe and sound using the pill but apparently not.
I didn't do a test yet, I'm waiting to be home, with Hannah and in the meantime, I pray all that is holy to get my period.

I can't have a baby now. I don't want a baby now.

It was all my fault. Yeah, I know, it takes two to do the tango, but a week before my flight for Los Angels I went to my gynecologist because I had some problems down there - don't make me go into details - and she decided to switch my pill to one with a lower hormonal dosage. I think she told me to pay attention and use a condom if I had sex at some point, but I wasn't really paying attention. At the time I had too many things on my mind.

I had a lot of sex. Without condom. And now I'm probably screwed.

Thomas knows about the problem, he didn't freak out as I did and still do. He took it well, telling me not to swaddle my head before I know if I'm really pregnant or not. Of course, he would have told me something like that. It's not like he possibly has a watermelon growing in his belly. It's not like all his career is put in danger because of this. It's not like it will change his life as much as mine.