Infinity||H.S.

Stays In Vegas

I told myself, "this could be rough"
Oh, I know you're feeling insane
Tell me something that I can explain, oh
I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors
Tell me all of the things that you couldn't before
Don't walk away, don't roll your eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight
If this love is pain, well darling, let's hurt, oh tonight

****

18, August 2019
Las Vegas

26 days to the wedding

Noelle

If when I got back to my room someone told me I would and up at the airport three hours later with just Hannah, I probably would have laughed in his face.

But that's what I'm doing. I'm waiting for the next flight to London, wrapped in my best-friend's arms as I cry my eyes out and try with all I have to not have another panic attack in the blink of an hour.

I don't even know if I gathered all my stuff from the room I was staying in. I just ran out of it with all I could remember to grab and walked as fast as possible to Hannah's room, bagging at her door as I felt my heart broke in pieces and my world being completely shattered.

Hannah sent a text to Thomas with my phone, telling him I had to go back to London with her because she had a fight with John and needed me, then she called Carter and all my friends, telling them the same story.

The only ones who actually know the truth are me, her and... Well, Harry.

"You sure you want to do this?" she asks, leaving a kiss on my head.

"Yeah... I-I need to think. I-... Hannah I can't-... How- how could I?" I sob, trying to take slow breaths but failing miserably.

Hannah runs her hand up and down my arm, pulling me closer, "You still love him, don't you?"

I pull away, whipping under my eyes as
I flicker my eyes between hers, looking for an answer I know she can't give me. Only I can.

"I-... I don't know," I cry out, covering my face with my hands as another wave of tears start to pout down my eyes, " I'm so confused. I don't know what happened or how it happened, Hannah. I love Thomas, I really do... I- you can't love two people at the same time, right? This is not twilight, for fucks sake. I'm just a whore."

She hugs me again and shushes me softly," You're not a whore, Nonó. You need to calm down a bit and breath, this isn't good for you. "

"How can I calm down Hannah? What I did... Was horrible. I don't do those things, I'm not that kind of girl, yet he managed to turn me into it." I cough loudly, feeling my lungs beg for air, " Why did he do this to me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why?"

Hannah takes my face in her hands and pins her eyes on me, "You Know why, Nonó. It's clear as a day, hun. He loves you. And I'm justifying him or you. But he acted out of love."

I frown and pull away, feeling anger boiling my veins, " That was not love. He doesn't love me. He never did. If you love someone you don't ruin their life. If you love someone you want them happy. When you love someone you're not selfish, you think about the other feelings, which he didn't."

"He loves you." She insists, stubbornly, "You know he does."

"No, he doesn't. He never said it." I growl, whipping under my checks again. Truth to be told I didn't really let him say it.