2 hearts || ryden

[9.4]

"shut up!" i laughed as i threw a pillow at ryan. "it's not my fault you almost set your house on fire that one night. we were lucky that spencer was there." ryan smirked. "god, spencer's a life saver when it comes to fire." i muttered. "what the fuck? what did you do?" ryan rested his head in his hands. "long story, it involved a toaster." i sighed. "what's up with you and setting kitchen utensils on fire?" ryan laughed. "shut up, it's embarrassing!" i frowned.

     ryan rolled his eyes and kept laughing. "seriously, remind me to never let you do anything in my kitchen." he smiled. i shook my head and smiled back. he kept his eyes on me, staying silent.

"is there something wrong?" i asked. ryan shook his head. "no, you're just cute. that's all." he said. my eyes widened and i felt my heart jump. "wow, that's kind of straight forward." i chuckled. ryan shrugged before laying down. "it's true."

i laid down next to him. "then can i say true stuff about you?" i asked. "um, i mean, if you want, i guess." he mumbled as he looked away. "okay, well, you are one of the sweetest human beings to ever exist. you have a way with words when you're not verbally talking. you're very attractive. the list goes on." i said. "very attractive?" ryan looked back at me with an eyebrow raised. "yeah. i'm pretty sure that's what i said." i nodded. "you've got the wrong person. you might as well be talking to a mirror." he shook his head. i pushed him farther away from me. "yeah right. have you ever looked at yourself?" i laughed. "yeah, and i still think you're better." he rolled back to where he was before i pushed him. the two of us laughed at each other.

don't fuck this up. don't fuck this up. don't fuck this up.

"be my boyfriend."

"what?" ryan raised his eyebrows. "will you?" i asked. "i— brendon... it hasn't even been a week since we started talking in person again." he said. "yeah, but we started talking again almost three weeks ago." i sat up. "after years of no communication, caused by me." he mumbled the last part. "don't blame yourself." i said.

"what about dallon?" ryan asked. "what about him?" i tilted my head. "i don't know, i just thought... you guys are really close and—" "you thought i liked him?" i finished his sentence. ryan nodded. "ry, i haven't lost feelings for you or fell for anyone else at all since eighth grade. i still really like you." i told him.

     ryan kept quiet for awhile. "you don't have to answer now." i said. "i don't know, brendon. i just don't want to mess this up." he shook his head. "how could you mess things up?" i asked. ryan sighed. "i don't know. it's just... i don't want to hurt you again." he muttered. "do you think you would?" i asked. "not intentionally, no. i'm just scared that i'll somehow mess something up." he told me. i nodded my head. "i understand, it's alright." i said.

     after some time, ryan spoke again. "are you sure you want to be with me? even after everything i did?" he asked. "yeah, of course. all of that stuff happened in the past and i'm over it. it's better to focus on the present, not dwell on shit that happened in the past." i nodded.

     ryan sat up. "are you positive?" he asked. "positive." i responded. ryan nodded as a small grin crept onto his face. "then yeah, i'd love that." he said. "really?" i beamed. "really." he chuckled.