He was the boy on campus everyone strayed from. His looks, his demeanor, his everything was always so dark and formidable. Is there a possibility anyone can change him, or is that who he will be for the rest of his life? Stuck with nameless women, e...
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⇋ I ultimately, after a very short minute of mental debate, decided to skip my last class of today. It's not like I missed much, and even if I did miss a lot, I don't care anymore. Emotionally, mentally, I'm somehow breaking down more and more every day. I haven't done anything for the past three hours other than lay in bed and stare at the fucking ceiling. Hell is here on earth. Or hell is earth.
All I'm saying is that I would not be surprised to find out that I'm already in hell and suffering. Because that's exactly what this feels like.
Is it too soon to try talking to Zach again? I'll apologize for everything I did, I just need someone with me. I need to feel less alone and I need someone who will make me smile every once in a while. And if I'm already being tortured, I might as well invite Zach back into my life. It wasn't all that bad. He was really sweet to me sometimes... when he wasn't hurting me or abusing me.
College is so much fucking worse than I anticipated it would be. I should have taken a year off and stayed home. Why did I subject myself to this? I haven't even gone through a full year of it yet and I'm already failing in every aspect of my life.
A sound from the living room broke me out of the bottomless black hole of my mind. I ignored it, because it's probably just one of my neighbors accidentally making noise against the living room wall. Also because I don't want to get up and check. I want to stay in bed for as long as I possibly can. Whether that be hours, days, the rest of the semester; I do not care. I am completely done caring.
The sound happened again. This time it sounded more like a knock on my front door and not just a random noise from the people next door. There's really no telling what or who it is without checking, but I have a feeling that it is the one person I want nothing to do with right now.
It took me another long second of mentally preparing myself, but I groggily rolled out of bed and dragged myself to the front door slowly. I opened the door only to come face to face with Steele.
I fucking knew it was going to be him. That's the only reason I even got up and answered. He would've kept trying until he heard from me.
"What?" I asked solemnly. I can physically feel the dark circles under my eyes right now more than anything else. I'm sure they're noticeable to him too.
"You know there's nothing actually between her and I." He automatically shot, his brassy voice flowing from my ear canals into the pit of my stomach, where his words floated around peacefully like a feather.
I fought through the nice feeling the best I could as my heart dropped from the nerves I was feeling. "Why don't you just go pester her, Steele? You've worn me out, I can't do any of this anymore."
"I won't be around her after today, Floor. I don't want to be around any of them."
"You have no clue how familiar that sounds." I almost laughed with my brief eye roll.
