New Girl - Ondreaz Lopez

37

-Maddy's P.O.V-

It's the morning of my appointment and I'm pretty nervous. Honestly having second thoughts about it. It makes me sad to think about destroying something of mine and Ondre's. I mean what's really stopping me from having a baby? I'm in a good financial situation. We're moving to a safer not so crazy house. I'm gonna be 23 soon and by the time I have it Ondre will be 24. We're really not that young like it could be worse. Ondre's brother was 18 when he had his. Kylie Jenner had hers at 21. I feel like I could definitely do it. I guess the only thing holding me back is Ondre, and knowing he doesn't want this. I was really scared at the start because I didn't plan it.

Should I tell Ondre how I'm feeling? I don't wanna freak him out. I don't want to cause an argument over this and the last thing I want is to have the baby and have he and I break up and then what? Joint custody? If I were to really go through with this I'd have to be absolutely sure that Ondre was the one for me. I could never put my kid through the stress of split parents.

I'm over thinking.

That's what Ondre would tell me at least.

But then what if Ondre really is the one? And what if we stay together and raise more kids together? What if my not saying anything ruins all possibilities of that happening?

I can't think straight.

I guess I should get ready to go.

-Ondre's P.O.V-

After waking up I could tell Maddy had a lot on her mind. She sat up and stared out her window for so long she didn't even say good morning. This must be really hard for her. I mean it's hard on me but my body doesn't have to endure anything. But after today we can forget this an move on. She'll be able to heal and take time to get back to normal and then life will be back to the way it was.

I've been wondering if that's really what I want. Do I really want to just go back to normal? What even is normal?

I glanced over at Maddy as she was getting ready and she smiled at me. But it wasn't her real smile she was forcing it. I can't remember that last time we were really happy. Like had no problems we were just happy living our lives. I honestly think it's been weeks.

I started to think maybe this wasn't a curse. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. Maybe what would make us truly happy again is bringing new life into our lives. Then I started to picture us, as a family. How great of a mother she would be. How happy I would be to be a father. I know this wasn't planned and it's a huge step and a real commitment but maybe I do want this. Maybe this is what we've needed all along. I'm a strong believer that things happen for a reason and I felt the same way when I met her. I was supposed to meet her and I was supposed to fall in love and we're supposed to have this baby.

Am I crazy?

Maybe.

I can't possibly ask her to do that though. I can't ask her to put her body through 9 months of labour and go through all that just for me. She said it herself she's not ready to be a mom. That would be so selfish of me. I'm not gonna say anything. Maybe this is something we can revisit in the future when we know for sure that we're ready.

I started to get dressed and head down to make her and I a smoothie before we head out. She came down and met me in the kitchen. She walked straight up to me and wrapped her arms around my torso. I hugged her back resting my head on hers.

"I'm scared" she said into my chest.

"I know" I said. "It'll be okay, it's almost over"

She took a deep breath and let go of me and stepped back keeping her head down. I lifted her chin and kissed her forehead before we headed to the car. The ride was silent. I think we were both just in our heads.

We got out of the car and walked towards the building. I grabbed her hand as we stepped in and I could feel her grip tighten once we we got in line to the counter. We checked in and were told to head to the waiting area until a nurse came to get us. We tried to keep our minds off of things by watching tv. But it was totally mind numbing. I decided to text Tony.

Ondre : "this place gives me the creeps man"

Tony : "no doubt man I feel for ya. How's  Maddy doing?"

Ondre : "she seems okay. But she hasn't said much since we left the house. I'm getting a little worried tbh"

Tony : "Addison explained to me the procedure and how they do it and dude that shit sounds horrifying, I'd be scared if I were her too"

Ondre : "if I could take her place I would I hate that she's the one that has to do this"

Tony : "I know you would. Stay strong bro"

I was pulled back to reality by the sound of the nurse calling Maddy's name. We stood up and she took my hand. She was squeezing so hard. We started walking, as we turned the corner the nurse disappeared into the room and Maddy stopped me.

"Ondre" she said standing in front of me "I can't do this"