Y/N's POV (finally again!)
I woke up to feel something around my waist, definitely ain't my blanket.
I turned around to see Renjun, staring.
"Hug me back~" he whined, so I just shrugged and hugged him back, cuddling.
"Isn't it too early?" I asked, as there were still stars. "Yeah, it's just 4:30 in the morning" he replied, smiling warmly.
This feels great though. Having a cuddle with him, it feels warm.
"Y/N-ah, what are your thoughts about first love?" this is weird, we never talked about love out of the blue.
"Hey, did something happened?" I asked, while he just shook his head. "No, it's nothing. Just wanna know"
I sighed, "Oh well... I think they are really hard to forget. Mostly, it comes out as one-sided, rarely it's mutual.
What makes it the most memorable is that, you feel all sorts of feelings for the first time for them.
Be it the pain, adoration, happiness, jealousy, almost everything. Sometimes, people tend to mistake their selves that they moved on from their first love.
But no, it's their mind that thought so. Those actually just see their first love on who they loved after them. It's a tough process.
Though some didn't want to move on. If they moved on, it should be some type of I don't love you anymore but I still care.
It's funny though. You can forget anyone you loved after them, but deep inside you still care for the first. You might feel those emotions stronger with other people, but still, they're the first.
It's our choice. Either we forget, or we just go with it. Don't force yourself" I shrugged, while his mouth was agape.
"You know a lot about these, I see" he was amused, I can tell.
"Well, based on experience though. I'm trying to move on from mine, but he's really not gonna leave my life so maybe... maybe it's better to leave it like that" I smiled.
It really felt warm, he does feel warm. "Yeah, maybe... maybe you're right. I shouldn't hold back" he smiled, and I returned it, but my heart says otherwise.
He yawned cutely, hugging me tighter. "I'll take some sleep. Mornight, Y/N-ah. I love you" for the second time, my heart stopped for those 3 words.
"Hmm, I love you too, Renjun" I just smiled and enjoyed the moment. It's not bad to be selfish sometimes when I always give, right?
After 15 minutes of trying to sleep, I just gave up. I looked at him, his hair sprawled across his face. Perfect.
I just stared at him, adoring the sight. I cupped his face, smiling sadly.
"Why can't you fall back to me, Jun-ah? But I guess, I'm not regretting my choice. Indeed falling for my first love again is great, even with the pain."
I slowly removed his hand on my waist, standing up to just get some coffee, leaving my first love asleep.
Renjun's POV
"Why can't you fall back to me, Jun-ah? But I guess, I'm not regretting my choice. Indeed falling for my first love again is great, even with the pain."
With that, she slowly took my arm off her waist, standing up and left me alone on her bed.
I already fell for you, Y/N. I just... oh well, I don't even date you, why should I hold you back, falling for your first again?
I am not asleep. I can't, to be honest. I'm deadass sleepy, but I just can't. And now that I've heard of that... I can't. I am not even sleepy.
I decided to just stay laying down, thinking of some things when she came back with a coffee on her hand. So I just decided to act sleeping.
I've heard her taking a sip but then sighed. I soon heard her setting her coffee aside.
I then felt something warm on my cheeks. Her palms.
"Why are you so perfect, Jun? W-why are you so perfect that I can't h-have you?" I'm hurting her...
"Is it right that I let my first love back again? Or should I not? Y-you're making it h-hard Jun..." she sniffed, this hurts now...
"I don't know what to do anymore... it h-hurts to think of you... it even hurts m-more to think that you'll nev-never like me..." this is my fault...
"I don't even wanna fall for it again, but I guess... I'm happy this way... b-but you love your first... I can't d-do anything against it" she sighed, then her palms left my cheeks.
"I don't w-wanna let go of you either... I d-don't want to see you with someone else... I thought we h-have a chance, I thought i-it's possible" she sniffed, this will haunt me forever.
"I just wanna let go of you! L-let go of my pain... be happy! I-I guess I'm letting you go... (but it's true... first love won't die easily...)" I didn't hear the last part, but it hurts me, seriously. I never dreamed of making her cry.
I peeked to see her crying... I'm hurt too... am I too late?
I just decided to let her finish her coffee and calmed down before "waking up".
"Oh hey, you had a short sleep. You sure you good?" she asked, a bit shocked, making me shake my head.
"Cuddle with me, let's sleep~" I whined. She just sighed and smiled. A smile with such hidden emotions... sadness?
"I really can't sleep earlier, but yeah, sure I guess?" she shrugged, still, a sad smile on her lips.
I decided not to ask her and just cuddled her. "You really feel warm" I heard her talk, "You too, now sleep" I declared and she closed her eyes.
I watched as her face softened, probably asleep. I love her so much. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and thought of something before drifting to sleep...
Sure, you ain't holding back for your first. But I'll win you back, my wife. I will.
You see, they're stupid. BUT HEY! WHY TF ARE WE AT 509 READS?! OH MY THIS IS NOT HOW I EXPECTED MY BOOK TO HAVE OML I THOUGHT I COULD ONLY REACH 19 READS OR SMTH, THANK Y'ALL OMG SJSNSKSN
