I just stared at her while she was somehow making a new song. Why does it have to hurt this way?
I just looked down and sighed. I feel like kissing her right now, but it's wrong. It's so wrong.
I was startled when I felt a tap on my shoulder, "What's on your mind, Yong?You're so down today" if only she can solve it...
"I'm... fine, I guess? I should be" I smiled weakly, not having enough energy to smile wide.
I then heard her sigh, "Come here" she instructed, making me tilt my head. "Oh come on" she sighed and stood up to hug me.
I almost jolted out of the hug, but her warmth made me lose all the walls I've been building all these time.
"Yongie, stop pretending you're fine, at least in front of me. I don't want you to mask it all up, you've been strong for so long. I'm here" she softly whispered, making my tears fall.
It is hard, it really is. I thought I could make her mine before, but I guess it's actually the opposite.
I was happy when Yangyang told us she is his cousin, one time the three new members were talking about their family.
I thought we can be closer because of that, because she is the closest cousin of his, as he told. But it didn't go that way.
I am now vulnerable. Miserable. Everything has been breaking, shattering. It's making me lose my mind, so lost I can't fix my own self these days.
All I did was cry, right in front of her. I've been waiting to hug her, but I never knew it will be this sad.
I kept on saying the things I've been wanting to say inside my head, knowing it'll be awkward to say she is the one who tore me apart.
"Just let it out, Yong. Maybe that girl doesn't deserve your love at all, and you deserve someone better than that" she comforted me, but it's useless.
It's wrong, Y/N. You deserved everything, but I don't deserve you.
She then broke the hug, while I just looked down out of embarrassment. "I'm sorry you had to baby me... I know I'm such a crybaby--"
"Can you stop looking down at yourself, please? I don't think you are a crybaby. Sometimes, crying means you've been strong for so long. So, so long" she told, cupping my face.
I was shocked when she kissed my forehead. "Come to me when you feel like crying, or when you feel sad, just come to me anytime, it's fine" she assured, making me feel at ease.
I just wanted some time with her, alone. Only Jaehyun and Yuta knew out of the whole NCT, ever since I laid my eyes on her.
Why? I don't know. It's not that I don't trust them, I just feel embarrassed.
"Y/N-ssi, we'll be friends, right?" I asked, a little hope in my voice being evident.
She broke into a smile, "Of course, Yongie. I wouldn't give you a nickname and drop the oppa if we weren't" she then kissed my forehead again.
This is what I've dreamed of, I can cherish this until I naturally move on, right?
Yuta's POV
It's been a while since we're playing. It's already 8 when Renjun asked if we wanted to watch movie, and everyone agreed.
He was about to call the two but I was fast to decline, saying I will, with Jaehyun. He just nodded and pointed which door is the studio and movie room.
I sighed in relief when they all left us behind, "That was close" I declared, while he looked at me, confused.
"Aish, of course! Knowing Taeyong they must've hugged! He's not that slow Jae!" I explained, him laughing at me.
We just went to the room Renjun pointed, knocking twice. "Taeyong hyung? Y/N-ssi?" Jaehyun asked, Y/N opening the door seconds afterwards.
"Oh, what is it?" she asked, smiling softly at us. "Renjun called for a movie" I answered, making her nod. Taeyong then followed behind her, as they exit the studio.
Y/N leads the way with Jaehyun, while I talked to Taeyong in a whisper.
"Hey, what happened there?" I asked, "Drama. Gon' tell you later, though" he replied, while I just nodded.
"Y'all want some snacks?" I heard Renjun ask, everyone seated already. "Hmm, sounds good" Taeyong spoke, smiling at Renjun.
He then looked down. He is beside me, on my right, while Jaehyun was on my left. Renjun and Y/N went to a door at the back of the room, surprisingly with a lot of snacks inside.
Renjun was picking which snack should be given while Y/N holds them. They look cute, but yeah. The guy beside me thought of that too, in a painful way.
"Hey, just tell us if you're not comfortable with this" Jaehyun told, talking to Taeyong in front of me.
"I will" he smiled. I held his hand, "Just squeeze it in case you feel uncomfortable" he nodded, sitting back.
After giving us the snacks, Chenle and Renjun set the movie. Y/N, unfortunately sat beside Taeyong.
Why is that? Of course, Renjun will sit beside her no matter how dense he is, and Chenle will sit between Renjun and Jisung, making the seat a bit too compressed.
Knowing Taeyong, he's already uncomfortable. I felt a light squeeze, so I whispered things that can comfort him at least.
We're watching Miracle in Cell No. 7. I noticed how Y/N and Renjun is getting closer, how they are snuggled.
I admit, they are cute as fuck. But then, I feel sad for Taeyong. Not pity but just real sadness.
He's looking down at his lap, tears already falling. Thank god the lights are off. I know he won't admit it anytime sooner so I decided to do it.
I called Y/N, knowing Taeyong won't look up anyway. "I think Taeyong's not feeling well. I'll accompany him with Jae" I whispered, while she just nodded, getting back to snuggling with Renjun.
I dragged Jaehyun and Taeyong up but Yangyang blocked my way with his hand. "What's up with Taeyong hyung and Jaehyun hyung?" he asked.
"Taeyong's... not feeling well. Jaehyun and I will take care of him, don't worry" he nodded, his eyes back to the front.
I just continued dragging Taeyong, Jaehyun caught up with what's happening.
As soon as I closed the door, Taeyong sat on my bed, sobbing softly. I sat beside him, Jaehyun on his right.
"There, let it out" I told, rubbing circles on his back. Jaehyun was holding his hands, squeezing them lightly.
"I just... why am I like this? It's not like she would end up with me anyway, they're surely promised ever since" he said, laying his head on my shoulder.
"Hyung, maybe it's time to try and find someone out there" Jaehyun softly spoke, smiling sadly at Taeyong.
It actually caused Taeyong to sob more, but we both know Jaehyun is actually right. "I hate myself for being weak, for not making a move since then"
I hushed him, "No, you're not weak. You just fell. I can't believe I'm saying this cringe word, but that's love, Tae" I also smiled sadly at him.
He soon hugged me, letting his little heart out. Jaehyun joined the hug. We were comforting him, trying our best while he's letting the words he can't say out loud, be heard by us.
It was kind of sad. It was pure sadness.....
Until a knock was heard.
Yes! We are at WHAT THE HECK ?! 2K READS? Y'ALL ARE INSANE OMG THANKS! SECOND UPDATE FOR TODAY! AND THERE MAY BE A THIRD, DEPENDS LOL THANK YOU ALLLLLLLLL FOR READING MY UGLY BOOOOOOK
