sincerely, r

forty seven

"Hoseok." Rebecca leaned forward, putting her hands on the side of his face, holding his head gently. "You are beautiful. Anyone who tells you otherwise will get their ass whooped by me."

"Rebecca." Hoseok smiled, doing the same as her and holding her face. "You couldn't hurt a fly."

"I could try." Rebecca rubbed her thumb against his cheek. "I'd try for you." Hoseok bopped her nose and the two giggled, Yoongi giving them a 'wtf' face.

"Yoongi," Hoseok and Rebecca let go of each other, smiling at his hyung. "We are goals." Rebecca hugged Yeontan tightly, the dog going with it as well.  Spots whined, sitting on the floor, laying his head on the couch.

"Awh baby, come up here." Rebecca patted her lap, moving Yeontan away so Spots could jump up. Hoseok grunted as Spots nailed him close to his crotch, but he managed to slap a smile on his face before Rebecca realized what was happening. "Hoseok, is he okay?" Rebecca double checked about her dog, Spots laying partially on Hoseok as well.

"Oh yeah of course he is." Hoseok rubber Spots' back smoothly, Rebecca smiling at him.

"OZZY!"

"WHAT?!"

"OZZY HAS MY HEADBAND!"

——-

"You make me feel so lalalalala." Rebecca sang to herself softly, tracing the spots on Spots' back. Namjoon smiled as she did a little dance, Spots' tail starting to wag. "You make me feel so lalalalala." Namjoon glances over at her phone, the ringer down, but the screen lit up with every notification. And of course, with Rebecca's attention on Spots and Yeontan, Namjoon's curiosity got the best of him.

He leaned closer to the phone, leaning his head to see the words from the messages. It was like, every twenty seconds someone new or the same person texted her. And they all held worries and thoughts about the sender's mental health.

"All of these people talk to you about this?" Namjoon couldn't help but ask, holding up her phone. Rebecca's happy, giggly state faded slowly to a sad smile, her eyes looking old and tired.

"Yeah," Her eyes stayed low, resting on the two dogs on her lap. "I help a lot of people with mental health." She shrugged and looked up at Namjoon, the same tired smile on her face. "They trust me." Namjoon stood up, Rebecca's head lifting up to follow his eyes. He sat next to her, resting his arm on the back on the couch behind her.

"You really are an angel. You impact so many peoples' lives." Namjoon let his fingers graze Yeontan's back, the dog looking up at him with his touch. She hummed and nodded slowly, taking her phone back into her hands. "So why do you look so sad?" Rebecca sighed lightly, leaning against Namjoon, her head resting on top of his armpit.

"I just get scared sometimes." She stopped tracing circles on Spots' back, hugging his neck loosely instead. "I talk people out of suicide and it scares me. But, I'm glad I helped them." Rebecca nodded to herself, reminding herself of the good. "I've made so many promises to live for someone. We promise each other to live for each other. It's a lot of pressure, but, I'm glad I help of course." So many peoples' lives are tied to her's. People shes never met....It's scary sometimes.

"Do you ever talk to them about your problems?" Namjoon spoke softly, his tone matching the atmosphere between the two. Rebecca shook her head no, resuming the tracing of Spots' spots. "You can always talk to me. Always. I can help you." Rebecca looked up at Namjoon, their faces as close as their bodies were. Her eyes reclaimed their youth ever so, and she rested her head against him again. His arms wrapped around her in a loose yet reassuring hug as she opened up the messages, her mind whirling into action.

"I'm here for you too Joonie."

———-

Rebecca carries Yeontan as she walked outside, the puppy had snuck into her room. It was one am, the same time as last night when she wandered outside. A smile crossed her face once she saw a familiar mob of hair.

"Lonely?" Rebecca stood before Jin, the same place as last night. He looked up at her smiling.

"Yeah."

"Can I join you?" Rebecca nodded to the spot beside him. Jin scooted over, letting Rebecca climb on next to him. "Do you have trouble sleeping?"

"I'm just worried." Jin rubbed his forehead, letting his thoughts escape his mind, flowing from his mouth. "The media keeps getting more and more vicious. And, I don't know how well everyone can handle the hateful words either. I just can't protect them all from what they see and read." Rebecca laid her head on his shoulder, patting his hand, Yeontan helping by licking it as well.

"Jin, you cant always fix and protect everything." Rebecca frowned, trying to think of something reassuring. She's never been in this situation, having to reassure someone being attacked by media. "Jin, I know it's hard, but they need to filter it too. You don't have to always be the shield."

"But I want to." Jin grabbed her hand gently, u able to hold himself back. He needed something to hold him together. Even if it wasn't a hug, he needed something. "I have to. I'm their eldest hyung, I have to protect them."

"Jin no one will blame you-" Rebecca couldnt even finish his sentence before his shoulders started to shake, tears falling down his face, that beautiful smile of his forgotten by both. "Hey, hey, don't cry." Rebecca sat up, pulling Jin's hands down from his face and hugging him, letting him hold onto her tightly. "Let it out Jinnie, let it out."

"I'm not strong enough for them!" He cried softly, his whole body falling apart. Rebecca had to hold him up, his head digging into her shoulder as well. "I'm not good enough."

"Shush Jin. Shhh, shh. You are absolutely perfect, okay? You are so strong. You are so good, you are you. You're smile, your hugs, your selflessness. Jin, you are amazing. You are a diamond, a beautiful person." Rebecca rubbed his back, holding the back of his head as well. "Jin, so many people love you. All of the boys, all of your fans...Jin, I love you."

Those three words were hard. She didn't say them very much. Love wasn't very nice to Rebecca in the last. She's been hurt a lot by 'lovers.' She's been told 'I love you' only to be told later that that person had lied. She loved that person, but...that person had lied. Her ex left her broken, hurt, and with trust issues. She didn't believe anyone that said they cared. She hasn't believed anyone in a long time.

But Jin? He was different. He was so different.

"Hyung?" That wasn't Jin...It wasn't Rebecca.

The voice was broken, shaky, upset. The voice was crying.

And the voice belonged to someone that no one expected.

"Namjoon?"