Black Rose

4.

Ryan

It's been almost 4 weeks since I left the house, Dave has seen the kids almost every day. We've barely spoken about the whole divorce, I really just need time to myself to process the whole thing. And today I was gonna drop them off at the office, something that me and Dave discussed the other night. I made sure the both of them had their baths and had been fed, Kairi was excited to see her dad as always meanwhile Kam just knew he was going with somebody other than me. I was on the elevator with both kids on my way up to Dave's office, it stopped so someone else could get on and just my luck it was the bitch he cheated on me with. She had been working for him for about 6 months so I wasn't sure if she was aware that we had 2 kids. I only assumed that cause she looked at Kairi kinda funny, I frowned and when her eyes met mine I glared at her. "Good evening Mrs. Brewster." she said playing this lil' role as if I didn't already know that she was the one sneaking around with my husband.
I just chuckled and walked off the elevator with the kids, the only thing that saved her from getting dragged in that elevator was the fact that I brought my children with me. Speaking of which why was she still working here? That was definitely something I was gonna talk to my "husband" about. Everyone spoke to us, mainly Kairi but of course she ignored half of them. I always thought she would be nicer than what she is, but she acted so much like Dave that it wasn't funny. We were greeted by Monica, she was here when I first started working here. "Hey girl. Is my husband in a meeting?" I asked. She shook her head no and told me to go in. I tapped on the door a few times before opening it, he looked up and saw the 3 of us and a smile formed on his face. "Hey y'all." he greeted standing to his feet coming towards us. He hugged Kairi and kissed Kam on the forehead, when he looked at me I simply just said hey. I could it bothered him that we aren't all lovey like we use to be, but it wasn't my fault. "You look good." he said taking in my appearance. Something I hadn't heard from him in so long made me feel funny inside. "Thank you, here's their bags. Kam ate about an hour ago so he'll be hungry again, Kai just ate on the way here so she should be fine." I handed him the bags and the car seat. "Alright. Thank you." he said and I simply nodded. There wasn't much I wanted to say honestly, I just wanted to drop the kids off and leave. "Fathers Day is coming up, can we all do something together?" he asked with hopeful eyes. "Dave.." I went to say but he quickly cut me off. "You're gonna make me spend it alone?" he asked. "Remember you're the reason we're like this, I didn't just up and leave for no reason. I refuse to let you keep walking all over me, so yes you can have the kids on Fathers Day but I won't be included.. we need to get used to not doing everything together cause eventually our divorce will be final." I said as Kairi sat in his chair on her iPad. I guess that's when reality settled in for him cause I saw a tear fall, I needed to leave. I kissed my babies bye and quickly left the building. I had recently moved into an apartment and it was different with it just being us 3 but it was something I had to get use to. My mom was still under the impression that everything was fine with me and Dave. Honestly I was embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on, I felt like I couldn't keep a man. Cause yes I've known him for 5 years but majority of those 5 years have been stressful. I loved him more than I loved myself and that was where I fucked up at, I became weak all over again. I didn't ever wanna be in a relationship with someone like my ex but I felt myself slowly going back to that 18 year old girl who thought that if a man cheated it was your fault somehow, maybe I didn't please him enough or maybe I just wasn't what he wanted anymore. I couldn't sit around and let the man I loved the most dog me out, that isn't a good example to set for Kai, I wouldn't ever want her to go through half the things I did. I don't want her to ever feel like she isn't good enough, or that whatever happens in her life is her fault. I was scared for the future, was I making the right decision? How will this affect my family? What's next from here?

Dave

After Ryan dropped the kids off, I had Kairi sit on the couch that was in my office and play on her iPad. I didn't like the way things were with Ry and I, but I take full accountability for my actions that caused us to be here. 2 days ago I started my first session of therapy, I wanted to invite Ryan but I knew she wouldn't go. She had already made her up mind with the divorce, I felt like shit cause I knew deep down I had commitment issues. I also knew that I didn't want nobody else but her, I just needed to get myself together before I approach her with the idea of staying together. In therapy I was being completely transparent about my life and everything I've been through in hopes that it'll be able to fix me and my relationship. I had gotten wind that she had moved into an apartment downtown, it had been damn near a month since she's left the house and she hasn't bothered to come get her things. I miss waking up to her breakfast or her talking shit about me leaving something laying around. Or going to sleep with her putting her foot on me, a habit she's had since I've known her. I don't care what it took I was gonna get my shit together for my family. I decided to leave early since Kairi had a short attention span, so if we didn't leave soon she'll start touching things in here. I told Monica that I was leaving and to reschedule any appointments I had today which she didn't mind doing. She said bye to Kairi and Kam, I carried the both of them out the building to the car. Kairi climbed in her seat and strapped herself in and I strapped Kam in his. I made the drive home and we were there in no time. I spent the rest of the day with them, shit was wild I really had kids like more than one. You shittin' me ?

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I didn't know how to end this chapter lmfaooo