Black Rose

7.

       Dave

These last couple of days have been hectic to say the least. Yesterday me and Ryan had another argument when I was dropping her and the kids off. I wasn't sure what had gotten into her but she's been putting her hands on me every time we argued. Maybe she had been tired of being that nice girl I once knew, and today was another therapy session and I'm sure Ms. Simmons wouldn't be happy to hear what's been going on since we last saw her. Ryan refuses to ride here with me so she drove her car, she was making it harder on me when it came to proving myself. I love that girl more than life itself, I just wish she could see it. I knew I fucked up big time cause this isn't the first time we've been through something like this but the only difference is it isn't just Kairi anymore and we're married not dating. But only this time around she isn't quick to take me back like last time and honestly I don't blame her cause if the roles were reversed I would've been left her. There's a saying that goes like men can dish things but can't take it and I absolutely agree wit it. I was sitting in the front waiting room when she walked in, she had shades on and her face held a mug.

Ryan

I honestly didn't even wanna be here cause what's the point? I don't wanna be with him anymore so I really don't feel like I should be sitting in therapy sessions talking about my feelings or everything that's went wrong in my relationship the last 5 years. I sat next to Dave and pulled out my phone, I didn't greet him or say anything. "You look good." He said quietly. I deadass wore just a basic ass Nike tracksuit, so I knew he was just trying to make conversation. I acted as if I didn't hear him, "I know your ass hear me talking to you the fuck." I eyed him with a straight face and chuckled bitterly. Right when he was about to say something they called us to the back. I stood to my feet and didn't even wait for him I headed to the back. "Good evening you two." Miss Wilson greeted the two of us. "Hey." I said quietly as I sat as far as I could away from Dave. "Okay? What's been going on since the last time I saw the two of you." she asks as Dave rubs his temples. "I'm trying but she just doesn't even try to make it easier on a nigga." he said annoyed. I scoffed, "you can't be serious.. remember YOU cheated on me, not the other way around. And make it easy on you? I do what the fuck? I let you see Kairi and Kam ANYTIME you want but because I don't be all affectionate and over you suddenly I'm the bad person? You've got some nerve. Honestly I don't believe she just gave him head, I believe he had sex with her. And it was more than once anytime me and him haven't been intimate for months when usually he can't go 2 days? Miss me with that bullshit David." I said cause now the whole situation was starting to annoy me, I'm not even hurt anymore I'm pissed. "It's not that Ryan, I'm just not attracted to you anymore." he blurted out. And for the first time since I left him I felt my heart hit my stomach. My eyes filled with tears as I stood to my feet and walked out of the building. He followed behind me hollering my name, "Just stop! Cause for once you're finally being honest with me. So it wasn't just the fact that you've been cheating but you're just not attracted to me anymore. I made so many sacrifices for you!" I said poking him in his chest. "3 pregnancies! A miscarriage and 2 kids that I'm raising! So of course my body is gonna be different but yours has changed since we've been together and not once did I ever look at you and say that!" I said damn near sobbing in the middle of the parking lot. And of course he didn't have anything to say, "I put you first in every fucking situation, I went to jail to save your ass! I bared your children, something I thought you wanted but clearly I was wrong. I let you publicly embarrass me, and not once did I ever speak bad about you. You promised that you would never hurt me but that's all you've been doing.. I loved you so much when you didn't really love me. So I'm done, I'll have my lawyers reach out for you to sign the papers." I said walking away from him and heading to my car. I wasted no time pulling off and heading home. My mom was in town and she had the kids with her at her air bnb. As soon as I walk inside the house, I broke down I had no fight left in me. There was a knock on the door and I knew it was Brooke when she didn't even wait for me to say anything or even open the door. "Oh my god what's wrong?" she said rushing to my side. "He told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore." I said sobbing as she held me in her arms. "It's okay, you're a beautiful woman and don't let no man tell you anything otherwise." she said comforting me. "On the way here I called my attorney so she could type up the paperwork." I mumbled. "So your mind is made up?" she asked. I nodded, "there's no point in being with someone who isn't even attracted to you. And it's just what's best for all of us at this point." I sat up and sighed. "And as much as I wanna drink my life away right now I can't, I do not need to be hungover when I talk to this man." She stood up and helped me to my feet, "well I just want you to know that I fully support you and I love y'all." she said pulling me into a hug. "Thanks B and we love you too." I said. She stayed for a bit longer and then left.

                                          Dave

After the session today I desperately needed a blunt, I didn't mean for it to come out like that cause I knew I hurt her feelings. It was written all over her face and laced in her voice, she was right. I'm just not good for her, yes despite what I said to her earlier she is a beautiful woman. Of course her looks changed since we've been together but hell she pushed out 2 kids, she isn't as small as she use to be. She now had stretch marks and her chest wasn't completely flat anymore. I kept fucking up and I knew she would never give me another chance now so I just decided to make it easier on the both of us and give her what she wants. And if it's a divorce that she wants I'll give it to her, as much as I didn't want to. I got a call saying I had to be at the courthouse tomorrow at noon to discuss things with our divorce. Reality settled in and I popped the top off a Hennessy bottle and drunk it straight.

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Now he need his ass beat.. 😐