I immediately got rid of the idea.
That's crazy.
I can't even believe I was thinking about considering that idea in the first place! Inspite of knowing it's mad and will never be right!
That night was just an additional to the rough times I didn't really intend to collect, but end up having a pretty big collection of.
I don't even remember how did the supper end.
I just remember my self telling Noah to just drop his argumet. And I'm thankful he understood.
"You shouldn't let her manipulate you."
Si Noah nang kinagabihan at pumasok sa kuwarto ko. Dala ang mga pinamili namin kanina.
Naiwan ko pala ang mga iyon sa sasakyan.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga.
I was standing infront of the mirror trying to comprehend things when he knocked and asked if he can get inside. Katatapos ko lang maligo at magpalit ng pantulog.
"I'm not being manipulated Noah. Do you see me comply?" Hindi ko alam kung sinong niloloko ko. Siya ba, o ako?
"But you don't voice yourself out either." Puna niya. He's now sitting on my bed. Madilim ang ekspresiyon ng mukha. Hindi ko na alam kung kanino siya galit ngayon. Kay Mommy ba o sa'kin. O baka sa lahat. I can never really tell. "You think you aren't affected by her manipulative stance? Baka magulat nalang ako isang araw, ibang tao ka na."
Napalingon ako sa gawi niya nang marinig iyon.
"What do you mean by that?"
"What you are should be the only thing to define your identity. Not what others expect you to become." He looks so serious and brooding sitting still on the bed. "Even if it's already your mother who's trying to make her own definition of you. You shouldn't get her through you."
Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya.
I am now trying to display a hard face. I don't want Noah upset, but he seems to oppose what I want to do.
But truth to be told, I don't actually know what exactly it is that I want to do now.
My mind is a mess.
"Hindi ko gagawin 'yon Noah."
Nagtitigan kami.
I don't want to entertain any thought of what he was trying to tell me.
Dahil natatakot ako.
I'm afraid he's right.
And that I can not stand with my words.
I'm afraid I don't have the strength to do so.
Dahil mahina ako.
Maya-maya ay tumayo ito at lumapit sa'kin.
Marahan niyang nilapat ang kamay sa noo ko. Tinatanggal ang pagkakunot no'n. Pagkuwa'y marahang pinisil ang pisngi ko, inaangat ang gilid ng labi ko.
Hindi dapat ako matutuwa, but Noah trying to lift up my mood after reprimanding me made me almost smile.
"Aalis na'ko mamaya. Tell me you'll be fine." Taimtim siyang nakatingin sa'kin. I know he's worried with my situation, but I also know it won't do him anything good so I know what do respond.
"I'll be fine." Nginitian ko si Noah. "Magtapos ka na. Kapag abogado ka na kunin mo 'ko. Kahit gawin mo'kong katulong niyo ng mapapangasawa mo, ayos lang. I just wanna break free."
أنت تقرأ
Against All Boundaries
العاطفيةWhat do you think will you do when you're pinned in a situation you've never imagine to happen, but you were actually hoping for? Because you find nothing to appreciate from yourself, you wish you could become someone else. And when that opportunit...
