"Out of my sight you, impostor!"
Agad-agad ang hikbi ko nang muli niya akong panlisikan mga mata at puno ng pagkamuhing sinambit ang mga iyon.
"M-Mom, that's e-enough—"
"Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?! What do you even know, aside from what the devils has been whispering in your ears?!"
"M-Mom—"
"Don't you dare call me that way!" Hindi ko nagawang ipagpatuloy ang sasabihin nang muli niya akong putulin.
It was as if she was so disgusted of me, at hindi niya maatim na pakinggang tawagin ko siyang ganon.
It stings so bad.
Walang habas muli ang mga luha sa mga mata ko na wala nang ibang ginawa kundi bumuhos.
I know where her hatred for me is coming from. Lalo na at alam kong kasalanan ko ito.
But I still want to keep on hoping she will be able to understand me.
That she'll still be able to forgive me.
Pero paano mangyayari iyon kung bawat lapit ko sa kaniya upang humingi ng tawad o magpaliwanag ay nauuwi sa ganito?
How will we ever be ending the rift between us if she'll keep her ways on me, unchanged?
How will I ever be trying to make her hear what I'll say if she's not even listening?
At kung hindi niya ako pakikinggan ay pa'no niya ako mauunawaan?
She has to understand me, in order to be able to give me her forgiveness.
But it seems so impossible with her being this way.
"M-mom—"
"Out now! Get out!"
She kept her distance from me when she saw me trying to advance and reach her.
She immediately get away as if I'm a bearer of a fatal grotesque flue she has to be avoiding.
While hugging the jar and keeping it safe inside her arms as if I still could cause it some harm.
Dinudurog ako at muli akong napaluhod sa panghihina ng mga binti at kawalan ng lakas.
My tears didn't stop as I slump on the ground crying for my mother's forgiveness.
But her stand about it is firm and unshaking.
Na tila hindi na mababago ang pananaw niya sa akin kahit pa anong pagmamakaawa at pagluhod ang gawin ko sa harapan niya.
She eyed me without having any hint of mercy for me.
It was as if she can see me so undeserving of any sympathy, just as how I see my self having no rights about it.
But how can I just accept her hatred towards me?
"Out!"
Nanggagalaiti niyang sigaw at halos maglabasan ang mga ugat sa kaniyang leeg.
That made me stood up.
Natatakot ako at baka anong mangyari sa Mommy kapag nagpumilit pa ako sa gusto ko.
So I stood up.
At pinagbigyan ko siya.
She began crying again.
Gaano ko man kagustong tahanin siya ay alam kong hindi ako ang makapaggagawa noon.
And to force the things I know first hand is impossible, is nonsense.
YOU ARE READING
Against All Boundaries
RomanceWhat do you think will you do when you're pinned in a situation you've never imagine to happen, but you were actually hoping for? Because you find nothing to appreciate from yourself, you wish you could become someone else. And when that opportunit...
