Against All Boundaries

Chapter Fourty-One

I didn't really got better.

But I made my self look good for I don't want Dad and Tita to get even more worried with me than they already are now.

It was Sunday.

Tita actually wanted me to go with them to church . . . But they just let me remain home to rest my self.

I don't know but it seems like I kind of felt thankful about it.

Tila may kung anong takot akong nararamdaman kapag naiisip ko ang simbahan.

I can recall what I did . . .

And I don't like the feeling of it.

That it was like, I would disintegrate if I go there.

So I was thankful they let that thing pass.

That day, I forced my self to look fine and better.

I don't want to have an absent, and I'm pretty much certain Dad and Tita would ask me not to attend class yet tomorrow once they stpotted that I wasn't yet better.

So I tried making my self look cheerful during our dinner.

"You sure you're Alright, Anak? Baka mabinat ka." Ang Daddy na muli na namang nag-aalalang tumunghay sa akin.

Wala na yatang araw na nagdaang hindi ko nakita ang pag-aalala sa kaniyang mga mata para sa akin.

But I don't know what will I really feel towards that matter.

Whether I'll feel glad about his concerns about me, or I should feel bad that I always add up to his worries? Just because I was never alright.

I was torn between the two I don't really know what to feel.

But I made my self still look cheerful.

"Sigurado po ako, Dad! Look and I'll ace all quizes tomorrow." I even winked at him.

Natawa naman ang Daddy.

Pero hindi nga lang ako sigurado kung magagawa ko nga bang i-perfect ang tatlong magkakasunod na quizes bukas.

I can easily do that if my condition isn't like this. But having this slight feverish feeling kind of gives me some doubts about it.

Hindi naman na ako gaanong mainit pa, pero nahihilo pa ako paminsan-minsan.

But of course, I kept on drinking my meds on time.

Nang matapos ang dinner ay halos magpatintero kami ni Eldion nang magkasalubong sa hamba ng hagdanan.

Since that scene from the bank, nailang na ako sa kaniya at hindi ko na siya masiyadong tinitingnan.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag ng lubos pero, talagang kinakabahan ako sa nakikita ko sa kaniya.

I want to keep my eyes from seeing the familiarities and some resemblances.

I kept on telling my self it was silly.

Pero hindi ko basta-bastang naiwawaklit sa isipan ko.

I keep on seeing Ezrhael on him.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, at hindi ko na gusto pa iyong malaman.

Dahil kinakabahan ako.

Natatakot.

Mukhang nagtataka na rin si Eldion sa inaakto ko kaya minabuti ko nang iwan siya roon.

I don't want him to have the wrong impression about my actions.

Baka isipin niya pa na . . .

Agad akong umiling at mas lalo lang yatang sumakit ang ulo ko nang maisip iyon.