Against All Boundaries

Chapter Seventeen

Naikuyom kong muli ang aking mga kamao.

Namamaos ako at nawawalan ng lakas habang walang habas na nag-uunahan ang mga luha sa paglandas mula sa'king mga mata.

I don't understand anything!

I can not understand!

I don't wanna understand!

Natatakot akong kapag tuluyan kong naintindihan ang lahat ay hindi ko matanggap!

Hindi ko magugustuhan!

Hindi ko kakayanin!

Hindi pwedeng ganito!

Napakadaya mo, Ezrhael!

Bibiglain mo ako ng ganito, when you know I need you now to help me get my feet to stand straight on the ground!

Napakabilis at tila hindi ko gustong maintindihan ang kahit na ano!

He's sorry he didn't came but he hurt me even more anyway?

He's giving up on us?!

We didn't even finally became official, for real!

Ni hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan ang huling pagkakataon na naging magaan ang lahat habang magkasama kami!

If I knew any of this will happen, I should've paid more attention with all those time that he was still just hitting on me!

I would've paid more attention to his face while I still have all the time in the world and chances to do so!

I would've annoyed him the fullest I could afford and savour his modesty! His 'old schooled ways' of courting! His being such of a conservative man!

Most of all, I would've never made our memories get blurred by my tears!

Hindi ako nagkamali sa una kong pasya!

Na hindi ko dapat ipinaalam sa kanya ang kahit ano man sa mga problema ko sa buhay!

I shouldn't have shown him any traces of weakness and tears!

Hindi ko dapat ipinakita sa kanya ang sakit at mga luha ko dahil kay Mommy!

Dahil alam kong magpaparaya siya, simula palang!

Ngunit kahit gaano man katuwid ang intention at dahilan kung bakit niya ito ginawa, hindi ko iyon matatanggap!

He made me stay with my mother when he should've carried me on his arms!

He wanted me to go get my mother back?

That's bullsh*t!

What did he say again?

That I can never replace my mother by him?

That I can never be complete without my Mom, so he'll leave instead to give her the spot?!

So he's insinuating that I can be complete even without him?

Is he doubting what I feel about him?

Ngunit ano nga ba'ng nararamdaman ko?

Do I feel that strong for him?

Pa'no kung tama siya?

That I needed Mommy any more than I needed anyone?

Na kaya hindi ako makahinga ay dahil ang Mommy ang 'hangin' ko, at kaylan man ay hindi siya napasa'kin?

That I keep on inhaling different airs when the oxygen is my Mother?

He gave us up for her.

He wanted me to understand her.

To make amends.