Against All Boundaries

Chapter Eleven

"Mabuti naman at naisip mo pang umuwi, Zophoeah Amor!"

Iyon ang bungad ng Mommy sakin nang makauwi ako.

I sighed.

Ezrhael did his best to make me feel atleast a little bit calm. But my mother, just as she is, is really good in ruining every pieces of stillness I've strived so hard to collect.

Gayon pa man ay huminga muna ako ng malalim at pinakalma ang sarili bago marahang sumagot.

"Nagpaalam naman po akong gagabihin, Mommy—"

"Did I approve of that?! Did I even give you my consent about leaving?! I don't remember doing so, Zophoeah!" Hindi pa ako nakakaakyat man lang sa portico, ay napakataas na agad ng boses ni Mommy.

Nasa likod niya si Zariyah.

Trying to keep her calm, but it's so funny how she seems only being unnoticed whenever she tries to stop my Mom's reprimandings for me.

Kung kailan makatutulong sa'kin ang pagkakakuha niya ng atensiyon ni Mommy ay saka naman siya nito iignorahin.

She stood there looking a bit apologetic, probably because she can't do anything about Mom's anger towards me.

Gusto kong magalit sa kanya, pero kung tutuusin, wala naman kasi siyang kasalanan.

She's just being herself.

She's just been very obedient.

The exact person Mom wants to have as her daughter.

The perfect one.

The one without the flaws.

The one that's always in control.

The one that she'll always approve of.

"Nangyari na po, Mom. Wala na ho tayong magagawa—"

"That's why you shouldn't have done that in the first place! I have never stopped telling you to quit what nonsense you are trying to incline yourself with, yet you never seem to listen! Nakita mo ba kung sa'n ka dinadala ng mga ginagawa mo?!"

"I see no problem about this Mom."

"No problem about that?! Can you even hear yourself, Zophoeah?! You tend to defy everything I am telling you to do just because of that dating you are trying to bring out on! At what extent are you planning to do your rebellion over my words?! Saka ka lang ba titigil kapag nalagutan na ako ng hininga sa'yo?!" Nanggagalaiti na si Mommy at humakbang pa pababa ng portico para lamang higit akong malapitan.

Tila ba kulang ang lapit ng pagitan ng espasyo namin upang ipaunawa niya sakin ang mga nais niyang sabihin na 'ika' niya nga'y sinusuway at hindi ko maintindihan.

Nangunot ang noo ko sa narinig mula sa kanya.

Hindi ko talaga maiintindihan.

Dahil wala siyang ipinaliliwanag.

She's just kept on trying to control me and manipulate almost everything that I do.

Kaya hinding hindi ko talaga mauunawaan.

Lalo na at siya ang unang-unang hindi nakauunawa sa kalagayan ko.

Can't she even see her treatment over me?

And the difference on how she treats my siblings over her way of treating me?

Pilit kong kinalma ang sarili.

Nagtagis ang aking mga ngipin at mariing tiningnan ang Mommy ng tuwid at diretso sa mga mata.

I made sure I will be able to make her see what I want to point out.