Against All Boundaries

Chapter Eighteen

Hindi madali para sa akinang magpigil ng nagbabadyang galit at hinanakit kay Mommy.

But thinking about what Ezrhael did just for this, I feel like I'm deprived of my ability to breath. I can't even believe he'll let go of us that easily just for this!

Then, I was thinking it's his fear and weakness that made him back off on fighting and pushing for us.

Because I just can't slap it to my self that he won't be fighting for this along.

Kani-kanina lang, nang napangungunahan pa ako ng galit ay naisip kong siguro nga at hindi pa naman ka-laliman ang nararamdaman niya sa'kin. Para isuko niya ako ng gano'n.

He's started crushing on me on a very random span of a mere sight.

Unang beses naming nagkatinginan, he got hooked up.

Hindi ko iyon madaling pinagkatiwalaan. But what made me open my doors for him is my greed about having someone to lean on. Because I always feel like I need my back rested on something. On someone. Dahil gano'n ako kahina. And when Noah went overseas, nawalaan ako ng nasasandalan. I just can't lean on my sister for I've been trying to avoid her the best that I could afford for everytime we are together, I feel like I'm just a duplicate. I feel so insecured that she has everything I want to have with me, and since she already has all of it, I feel like I'm deprived of doing those things too, kahit pa sabihing kaya ko rin naman. Whenever I try to be just like her, we get compared. But the results always end up in contradiction. That she's good. And I am not. That she's got all the positivites, and I'm left with the negative ones. That she deserves all the compliments, and all that's left for me are the criticizms.

I always feel like the world is being unfair.

But then Ezrhael tried to enter.

And I just can't decline his appearance in my life for I badly needed someone who understands.

Amongst all people, si Noah lang ang nakakikita ng totoong ako. Dahil sa kanya ko lang nilalabas lahat. Dahil alam kong nauunawaan niya. At hindi niya ako pinagbabawalan. And when Noah left, I am so thankful that Ezrhael eventually arrived.

Nakahinga akong muli.

We've spent a month and a half together, pero sa mga oras na iyon, hindi ko na nga rin maalala kung kailan ang huling beses na hindi ko siya iniyakan dahil sa problema ko kay Mommy.

But remembering his patience for me. His tenderness, the carefulness he always has for me, his indulgence, his gentleness over me, his assuring smile, everything about him is making me feel one thing.

That he cares for me.

Maybe in the beginning, he was really just enticed. It's natural for a man to get attracted to someone with in a single sight. Probably his interest was awaken by me. I don't really know what exactly is the reason, my face? my attitude? My rudeness?

But he unexpectedly made his way to me.

He asked if he could court me.

At sa ilang buwan na pagiging malapit namin sa isa't-isa, I witnessed how his feelings got developed. From his mere 'crush' for me, he eventually felt the urge to take care of me, he gave me his arms to run on to when I feel like breaking down for another cry.

Pero hindi ko inaasahang isusuko niya ito.

He was not even afraid of what will I think of him.

Sa kanya mismo nanggaling na libre kong isiping duwag siya, mahina, hindi marunong lumaban.

But I know better.

He was always willing to give a way for the others.

Even if it means crushing him down too.