Things were all blurred.
Halos wala akong makita.
Halos wala akong maunawaan.
It seems like everything was just so fast.
That I can't even see it throughly in my eyes.
Walang-wala akong lakas upang isipin ito.
Ang alam ko lamang ay nanghihina ako ng husto.
At halos mamanhid ako dahil sa sakit.
Headaches.
Visions.
Seizures.
Vomitting.
Confusions.
Those are the things that I kept on being drown to.
Salit-salitan lamang silang lahat.
That after the excruciating headache, I'll feel my body numb . . . Then I'll be hallucinating and having a lot of visions and things in mind!
I want all of these out of my mind!
I don't want them!
But it just doesn't work that way.
I want them all out, but they won't get gone.
They kept on coming back in my head, even if I don't anymore have the ability to comprehend them!
They kept on taking my sanity away from me!
They kept on showing me things! Things I don't understand! Things I can't see clearly! Things I can't assilate! They all were blurred! And all I get from these things I can see in my head is pain! Horrowing and torturous!
It makes me numb! It makes me forget how must I supposed to be feeling my body! I can only feel pain. but not my body! I feel paralyzed! And that's what's even more frustrating. Tormenting even!
It was almost fatal! Lethal!
I have prayed a lot, for me to feel my body again! I have prayed a lot, for all these things I am seeing to leave me! I have been praying a lot for all these pains to be eased!
For I can't anymore contain it!
I'll die if it won't stop!
I'll lose my mind if it continues!
I don't know what exactly were the things did I undergo.
I don't even know anymore what would I prefer. To endure the pain that kills me with my vision for me to continue being numb, or to have it paused just for me to know what was behind all these. The truth that is even more grievious for me. I wish I've never knew what was all these about.
Natatakot ako. Nahihindik. Nanghihina.
Brain tumor. Grade two.
"This is my karma Ezrhael! This is my karma!" Since knowing what was behind this, I've never felt at ease anymore. I've always been in hysterics, and seizures.
"N-no, no. Baby, don't s-say that . . ." I looked in Ezrhael's eyes . . . Hoping to see strength in there. But even his vigorousness was faltered. He was wearily looking at me with all the sorrow and solitude there is. I can see he was trying not to crumble with me. But he almost can't contain it . . . I studied his face . . . His perfect feature was wounded. Tormented.
Nanginginig kong hinaplos ang pisngi niya. I was weak, but I managed.
I smiled with all the strength that's left in me . . .
YOU ARE READING
Against All Boundaries
RomanceWhat do you think will you do when you're pinned in a situation you've never imagine to happen, but you were actually hoping for? Because you find nothing to appreciate from yourself, you wish you could become someone else. And when that opportunit...
