Black Ink [Harry Styles]

Chapter 43

Nessa

I walk into the studio and drop my bag loudly on the reception desk where Letty is sitting. I am exhausted. She looks up from the invoices she is working on and removes her glasses, saying "So how did it go?"

I am about to answer when I hear Jude shout loudly across the studio "Do not start without me Nessa Black, I have been waiting to hear what happened all morning!". 

He is striding towards us in his usual black skinny jeans and boots. He's made tea and hands Letty one and me the other. Mine is chamomile, God I miss Coffee.

"Thanks" I mumble and look up to see them both watching me eagerly.

I roll my eyes and say "I am so glad my life is your entertainment".

"Yeh well the rest of us didn't get impregnated by a Rockstar" Jude answers cheekily.

I try look angry, but I can't help laughing "You are such a dickhead" I say.

He ignores me and says "Spill"

So, I do, explaining what it was like seeing him again and how I told him I'm pregnant.

When I am done Letty nods kindly and responds "I'm proud of you Nessa, you did what you had too"

Jude looks exasperated and says "But how did Harry respond Ness?".

"He was clearly shocked. He didn't really say much, other than questioning whether I had been birth control and asking how I was doing health wise" I say quietly.

Before they can ask anything else, I add "I was shocked when I found out and I have had two weeks to process it, I need to give him some time and space to deal with it. My head knows that, but my heart wanted him to be happy".

"I'm so sorry Ness. But as you say he is shocked; he needs some time" Letty offers.

"I know" I nod dejectedly "Anyway I'm exhausted; I think I am just going to go upstairs and have a nap".

They nod, Jude stands up and gives me a kiss on my forehead before he adds "Are you sure you are okay? You know we are all here for you right".

"Yeah yeah I know and I love you all" I say as I walk upstairs feeling disappointed and emotional.

Its morning the day after I told Harry and I haven't heard from him. I'm not sure what I expected, and I did tell him to take some time to think about it. But to be honest, the emotional hormonal pregnant lady I am had hoped he would be happy and would want to be involved. There is always the possibility I will be doing this alone, which I will just have to make work, but right now I feel alone and scared.

My morning sickness has been terrible the last few days. I haven't been able to keep anything down and have just stopped trying to eat anything. My sleep is erratic too so I have taken a couple of days off. Letty called, worried about me last night but I downplayed it because she has spent so much time with and worrying about me the last few weeks. But after another night of no sleep I'm starting to worry too.

I am currently lying in a hot bath, trying to relax. It seems to be helping a little and I feel less nauseas, although who knows how long it will last. I look down at my stomach and from this angle, naked, I can definitely see the start of a small tummy. I lay my hand on it and close my eyes. I still can't believe there are two small life forms in there, who I am responsible for now.

Leaning into my crazy hormonal pregnant lady persona I softly stroke my tummy and say out loud "well babies. I suppose we better get to know each other since we are going to be hanging out for a while. I'm your mom and I promise I'll watch out for you. Starting with calling the doctor today because you guys are making momma feel pretty awful and all three of us need to eat".

I'm interrupted by the front door opening and Letty calling out for me.

"I'm in the bath Letts, just give me a minute" I shout back and stand up grabbing a towel. All of a sudden, I have a headrush and feel dizzy, but push through, drying myself off and throwing a clean hoodie and some sweats on. I leave my hair piled on my head and walk out of the bathroom.

I find Letty in the kitchen, looking in my fridge, with her back to me. She must hear me and says "Nessa you have no food in here! What is going on?".

She turns around and looks at me, and I see her eyes widen "Ness! Baby girl! You look terrible, you are so pale. Are you okay?"

I sigh and say "Not feeling my best Letts. I am so nauseas and I can't keep anything down. Everything makes me want to throw up so I tossed the lot out of my fridge. Plus, I am struggling to sleep. I am about to call the doctor to make an appointment to see what up"

She looks worried but nods and says "Good girl. Now let's see if you can keep anything down in meantime" as she starts making tea.

But a wave of nausea suddenly overwhelms me and I have to dash to the bathroom. Letty follows, used to my constant bathroom antics by now. There is just nothing in me and so I just dry heave. Eventually I stand up and walk slowly towards the sink, quickly rinsing my mouth out. Letty is watching me like a hawk.

"Fuck Letty. I'm fine. Stop looking at me like that" I yell, standing up too fast. Suddenly I feel really sick, my skin a weird mixture of hot and cold. Something is wrong and I'm scared. I reach out for anything but nothing is there. 

I hear Letty calling my name, she sounds panicked. 

I try look at her and reply, but everything goes fuzzy and I feel myself slipping, slipping until there is nothing only silence and pitch black.

Hi Everyone

Hope you are enjoying Harry and Nessa's story so far! Please check out my new book "I Carry Your Heart" which I have just started publishing.

Thanks as always for the comments and votes!

J xxx